Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Brothers

Joel and I started this blog together but today I realized that I have neglected my duties as co-blog-author. Three posts have been posted by Joel post my last post which tells me it's my turn. Post.

In the spirit of family, I feel inclined to also write about my brothers. Joel wrote one blog per brother but I think I will include all brothers in one blog to avoid committing to writing a trilogy. Is that really how you spell trilogy? It looks strange. Well, it's not underlined in red, so I'm keeping it.

This blog is not very good so far but I promise, what it lacks in entertainment value and grammatical correctness will be made up ten fold in word count and unnecessary comma usage. Oh and Presidential analogies. I really liked when Joel compared Josh to George Washington. Did you know in his youth, Josh Hunter chopped down his father's cherry tree with a hatchet?!

Unlike Joel, I am in the middle, upper echelon of my siblings. I have an older brother, Daniel, and two younger brothers, Joshua and Timothy (he goes by either Tim or Timothy James). As any good family counselor will tell you, Higher Birth Order = Power. Power = Best Seat By the TV and Best Seat By the TV = Near Sightedness, or at least that's what my grandma always told me. Is that right Honey?

From what I recall, growing up in the Ariza house was very similar to growing up on a battlefield. A battlefield where none of the soldiers had weapons. And there were only four soldiers, all of whom were home schooled. And the soldiers fought a lot over the Nintendo Entertainment System. And the soldiers didn't have uniforms. The boys wore Jamz and the girl wore her Y-Ball uniform almost every day. I don't know why.

I'm switching to a new analogy.

Daniel, or Old Honest Daniel as I've often referred to him, was the Abe Lincoln of our family due to both his skills with rail splitting and the most impressive facial hair growing abilities of my brothers. He doesn't care much for the theatre arts but I believe that will aid in his longevity. Daniel and I had a mutual disdain for each other growing up. He started it though. The only time I actually remember us being allies is once when our parents left us home alone and we watched Predator together. I think the dreadlocks on those monsters make them far less scary. Daniel taught me the ropes when it came to bullying younger siblings. One of the most vivid conversations I remember having with Daniel on an almost daily basis was:

(Daniel walks up to me sitting on the seat on the couch closest to the TV. It also reclined which is a key detail in understanding its value.)

Daniel: Get out of my seat or I will beat you up.

Me: Okay, but I hate you.

For some reason I never thought about how unlikely it would be that Daniel would actually "beat me up," but maybe that's because I knew how honest Daniel actually was. Like Abraham Lincoln. Honest Abe Lincoln.

Josh, or Thomas Jefferson as we call him sometimes in blogs, was third in line and always had a girlfriend. Also, he was a staunch Democratic-Republican. I wasn't a very good older sister to have. I mostly would do things like give you hair cuts when you didn't need them and try to dress you up like a girl while you were still young and impressionable. When Josh was just a wee boy, maybe 5 or so, I put him in a tire swing and spun him so fast that all the blood vessels around his eyes burst and he had two shiners. True story.

Now Tim, the youngest of us, was a sweet kid. I was able to convince him to play Barbie Ice Cream Shop with me for a good couple of months until the other brothers let him know how uncool that was. They let him in on the Lego and Constructs bin to save him from an education in matching Barbie outfits. I didn't play much with Legos mostly because I "didn't play right." When discussions about my ability to "play right" escalated, I would occasionally release Barbie to level Lego Land. That didn't usually work to my advantage in convincing them to let me play with them.

Oh yeah, I would liken Timothy James to Andrew Jackson. Because they both have untamed luxurious hair.

There came a day in my life when I woke up to find that Daniel, Josh and T.J. had gone from being my arch-nemeses to being three of my dearest friends. I'm honestly surprised that they even speak to me at all after knowing me as a youth. This blog is only the tip of the iceberg of the horribleness that was Lizzy ages 8-15ish.

Daniel is now and an extremely talented web designer (www.biggunsdesign.com) who just finished designing Summit's new website. Daniel, I'm sorry for destroying your mixed tape in 1991. My brother Josh, also an artist (www.cognopolitan.com), does apparel design for Billabong in California. Josh, sorry for the whole tire swing/black eyes thing. Teej, my youngest brother (www.kidwholooksalotlikeorlandobloomandluckyforyouladieshessingle.com), of whom I am super proud, is studying psychology at Palm Beach Atlantic University. Tim, I'm sorry for that time I was baby sitting you and dressed up like a dead person to try to scare you. That was very insensitive of me

No comments:

Post a Comment