Joel and Lizzy

The Eyeglass Project

2011-12-12T09:08:00.004-06:00

In a world where we have access to all kinds of luxuries, it is hard to imaging living life without access to something as simple as sight. If we can’t see the newspaper, we buy a pair of readers. If our world is blurry, we get a new glasses prescription.

The large majority us have some sort of refractive error that requires a simple pair of glasses to enable us to see clearly. The same is true all over the world. The difference for people that are less fortunate is that many have no access to a pair of glasses.

So there are people walking around legally blind, that require no heroic intervention to give them sight, other than a simple pair of glasses. It seems like a pretty wonderful opportunity to change people’s lives!

We started a charity called The Eyeglass Project. I know it seems ironic, a LASIK practice working to get people in glasses. 3D LASIK is amazing. I personally am a big fan of it. It provides an end to the inconvenience of glasses. But then what’s left? A pile of glasses that have lost their purpose.

Hunter Vision is partnering with TIME Ministries to bring those used eyeglasses (and any others we can get) to those who need them. We will be collecting eyeglasses beginning December 10th and will have drop boxes at two locations, Hunter Vision (located in the RDV Sportsplex), and Northland, A Church Distributed.

In 2012, a team from Hunter Vision will take used eyeglasses donations to the Dominican Republic to bring clear vision to those who don’t have access to it. But we can’t do it without your help. The donation of your used eyeglasses, something so seemingly simple, could give sight to the blind.

What do you think of being a part of this? How about telling your friends too? It doesn’t require money, just a pair of glasses that you don’t use anymore. At each of our drop locations, we will have tags for your glasses that give you the option of sharing your information with us. The purpose of getting your info is to let you see the difference that your glasses made. Our hope is to be able to send you a picture of a very happy person in glasses that were once your own. What fun!

Drop your donation in one of these at Hunter Vision or at Northland Church

New Domain and a New Blog

2011-11-18T07:53:00.012-06:00

I realize I rarely update this blog. So little in fact that I recently typed in www.joelandlizzy.com to realize that our domain had been purchased out from underneath us and is now a splash page for some sort of medicinal remedy/practical joke. Anyway, we are now the proud owners of www.lizzyandjoel.com which is the current address of this blog. If you follow us or link to us, it might be a good idea to switch this out in order to save face.

I believe our last blog was an update on our house being broken into. They never found the intruder. He (or she) did make out with our iPad (meaning steal not kiss excessively). Also, since the event, I regularly think people are breaking into our home. Yesterday I heard a noise coming from the kitchen and charged toward the window yelling unitelligably about how our house already got robbed and about how he (or she) already took the good stuff and about how I find his (or her) actions very off-putting, in an effort to thwart what I believed to be intruder #2. Then I heard the sound again and realized it was coming from the freezer. I sheepishly apologized to said non-intruder and went back about my business.

Finally, I'm not sure if you have heard but we (Becky, Rhonda, Lisa and I) wrote a book! It is called Why Her? You, Your Mother/Daughter -in-law and the Big Picture and is available on Amazon in both hard cover and Kindle versions. In addition we have started a corresponding blog at www.whyher.org. It is a resource to help mothers and daughters -in-law in their relationships and will also feature any news or upcoming events regarding the book. Come check it out and spread the word!

What's that noise?

2011-07-26T15:14:00.004-05:00

Today was a day that started like any other. I woke Luke up, gave him breakfast, and got him ready for his swim lesson. We left in a rush because I'm always running late. Had I known how many people would be traipsing through my house in the next couple of hours, I would have made an effort to straighten up before I left.

I left the house at 9:40am and arrived home at 11am. Luke was almost asleep when I pulled into the garage and I scooped him out of his seat with every intention of running upstairs to lie him down for a nap.

I stepped through the door and walked through the laundry room. As soon as I had stepped through the laundry room door into the house, I heard a familiar sound. The sound of someone walking upstairs. Then I heard the sound of something being dropped. I found it odd that I had left our house completely empty and now I came home to what sounded like a person wandering around upstairs. I paused for a moment to see if it happened again. I did. It sounded like someone playing hopscotch upstairs. Whimsical yet disconcerting.

I ran through possible explanations for the sound in my head since it most certainly wouldn't be an intruder at 11am. Burglars only come into homes durning the witching hour as I've learned from watching commercials for security systems.

Could Joel be home? No, he has a job. Could we have mice? No, mice large enough to create that sound can only be found training turtles in the martial arts in sewer tunnels in cartoons in 1992. Our dryer sort of makes a sound like that when it's on because it's not quite level. Could it be...? Clearly I was in denial at this point since I was standing next to the dryer which is downstairs and was in the off mode. I should get Luke somewhere safe just in case.

I went back into the garage and put Luke in his seat. I backed out into the driveway and put the car in park. Now what? I'm just sitting in a car in my driveway. I have a lot to do but it requires being in my house. I decided to call Joel for advice.

Fortunately I caught him in between patients so I could propose my ridiculous plan. Joel answered, "Hey Honey!"

"Hey! I just wanted to call because I came home from Luke's lesson and went inside and heard something like someone dropping something upstairs. I waited for a second and then I heard what sounded like someone walking upstairs. I have Luke in the car with me now in the driveway but I wanted to go check upstairs and see what it was. Can you tell me where our handgun is?"

"What? No! I think you should call the police."

"I don't need to call the police. I'm sure it's nothing. I don't want to make the police come for no reason because I think I heard a noise upstairs. Just tell me where it is and I'll run in and check really quick."

"I am not going to tell you where our gun is. You should call the police. They won't mind. They do this all the time."

"Okay, but is there a number I can call that's not 911 because I don't think this is a real emergency."

"Just call 911. That's what it's for."

I did and an officer promptly pulled up to our home and got out of his car. I apologetically told him how I'm sure it's nothing but I think I heard someone upstairs. I have my son with me you see, otherwise I wouldn't have called but my husband advised me to do this instead of checking myself. Essentially I was saying, "I'm not scared. I would go up there and kill the sound that's not an intruder myself if my husband hadn't not told me where the gun is that I don't know how to use."

He was upbeat and kind about the whole situation and asked me a few standard questions before checking all the front entrances. They all seemed secure. He walked around to the back. He was gone ten seconds and rushed back to my car window. His demeanor had changed.

"I want to you pull your car down the street and park it in front of mine. Keep it running. When was the last time you were in the house?"

"About three minutes before you came."

"I called for another officer to come. Stay in your car."

One more officer came. Then I heard sirens. Then 4 more cars with their sirens and lights on spun into the neighborhood and parked in front of my house. I saw an officer with what appeared to be some sort of sniper rifle, cocked and aimed, march into the house ready for battle. I saw a German Shepherd jump out of one car with two K-9 unit officers. One walked to my car and said, "If we find someone in your house, will you press charges?"

"Yes."

There was someone in our house. This is when I started to shake. I imagined a shoot out happening in our bedroom. I imagined injury or worse. Blood everywhere! My finest linens destroyed by gunfire!

After about 10 minutes of commotion, the officer who had entered with a rifle came up to my car and said, "You may want to come look around."

"So someone broke in?"

"You'll want to look around and see if you notice anything missing. You see, you don't seem like the kind of lady that would leave her house in disarray but the house is in disarray."

"Well I don't know. I have been out of town. (partial truth)"

"Not this kind of disarray. Disarray."

I walked into my house that looked very similar to what I had left and blamed every bit of mess on the intruder. "The nerve! Can you believe this?! The scamp! This shower is filthy! I can't believe how he dirtied these countertops! Some people! And he didn't even bother to put his dishes in the dishwasher! I am aghast! And to think he took our clothes out of the dirty clothes hamper and threw them on the floor while pillaging for spoils....etc..."

In the end, the scoundrel got away. He entered and exited through our tiny kitchen window above the sink. He stole our iPad. Nothing else.

I feel like God intervened many times today. I'm glad my boy and every officer who helped us remained safe. Oh, and the dog. I'm glad he was safe too. He was adorable. I'm glad I didn't try to go upstairs. Especially with an unloaded pistol that I was going to pretend was loaded. Or worse yet, a loaded pistol. I'm not mad at said scoundrel. He must have had a lot of rough things happen in his life to make him feel the need to break into a stranger's house to steal things and to cause such disarray/be a scapegoat for such disarray. From now on we are always going to arm our alarm system. I also learned that I should always keep up with laundry in case an invader climbs in our window and lots of police have to walk through our house.

A Whirlwind Trip to DC

2011-05-13T16:27:00.014-05:00

Luke and Ella playing in front of the Capitol

Over the past week, our family had the opportunity to do something pretty amazing. We happen to have the good fortune of sharing the last name with a couple of incredible people (Mom and Pop Hunter) and this week they were kind enough to allow us to ride their coat tails. To the White House. To shake hands with a very important man. (Here's the disclaimer: Please refrain from snarky comments. If you think them, keep them there. In your head. So we can still like each other. Thank you in advance.) This week we met President Obama. It was surreal to say the least. It is still a bit of a blur to me but of those moments that are vivid, I can only be thankful that Luke and I didn't get escorted out by secret service due to some of his antics. Although I'm pretty sure his name is now on a list somewhere.

Led in by Pop, we were introduced to the President in the Oval Office. Crazy. It can't overstate what an honor it was for him to take the time to meet our family. He is a busy man to put it mildly. The President shook the adults' hands and spent a significant amount of time chatting with the kiddos and Noah (he's in an age bracket of his own). They were all very articulate and well mannered. Luke was bashful and Lincoln was extremely entertaining. I'd go into more detail but I could only dilute the experience. Rumor has it that Bon Jovi was next in line to meet the President that afternoon. I also notice that he was in Orlando playing a show last night. Coincidence? Probably, but I'm still going to check all of our closets before I go to bed tonight. If he is in one, I am going to ask him how he never ages. Then I am going to scream. Then I am going to tell him how I sometimes get him confused with Bryan Adams.

Highlights/things I remember from our trip:

1. Chuck Todd. He and I were inches from each other outside the White House. I wanted to tell him I was a fan but one, it would be hard to do without sounding like I was hitting on him and two, he was on the phone.

2. Luke tried to prank call the Secret Service from the West Wing lobby. Not a highlight but very memorable.

3. Catching Luke moments before he bumrushed the Cabinet Room during, "Something important" as the receptionist put it. White House Security is very attentive even with toddlers. I felt the room getting smaller as I tried to chase him down.

4. Standing outside the situation room during our tour. Ten days out from such an historic event, I felt humbled to be standing in that place. Luke was more taken by the elevator adjacent to it but in his defense, it did have very shiny buttons.

5. Family time. I love all of these people dearly and they are the reason it was such a fun trip. This should have been number one. This list is in reverse order.

Luke's favorite part of the trip-riding the elevator

Post POTUS meeting

Family shot in front of the West Wing

If you are still reading this, I do want to mention one more thing. As amazing as this whirlwind family trip was, there was never a moment when we weren't acutely aware that our entire family wasn't present. Ava's absence was palpable through every moment. There were subtle reminders of her throughout both days, from a horse wearing a purple (her signature color) bridle in the park to a huge bouquet of purple roses greeting us as we entered the west wing lobby. With her quick wit and larger than life personality, I'm sure she would have been charming and funny and all things Ava had she been with us. But as we were shaking hands with the President of the United States, she was resting in the arms of the King of Kings. She definitely wins.

Update

2011-02-28T13:11:00.007-06:00

So, it's been a while. I am bad at remembering to blog. Actually, I remember but don't usually have time to allot to blogging.

Much has happened since my last blog in....late October was it? I can't remember. For starters, Luke grew a homeless man amount of hair on his head. Ironically, that is what he was for Halloween. Only I prefer the term, "hobo." It's more PC. When I have Joel proof read this, he is surely going to ask me to omit this section.

Luke also learned to walk, run, and talk back. I could have done without that last one but hopefully he's just getting it out early. Come early teens he'll be a gem. My sister-in-law is pregnant and expecting a little boy in July. Little Antoine Ariza. My brother Josh is engaged! He's getting married to a wonderful gal named Lauren. Lauren Roberta. So far I think I've only named about five or so things.....oh! Here'a a big one... Our dog is moving to Chicago this week so we'll have less tumble weeds made out of fur in our house. Welp, see ya!

Halloween 2010

Then we cut his hair like Hilary Swank

Now he looks like this...a young Phil Spector

Luke turned one

2010-10-25T11:02:00.011-05:00

Well, it's official (as of 11 days ago), my little baby is now a moderately sized toddler. We celebrated his first birthday on October 14th and again on the 16th with a slightly larger crowd. I think he had fun. He threw up at one point which I take as the ultimate sign someone is having a great time. It may have also had something to do with the large quantity of mac and cheese he ate. Our boy loves food that incorporates cheese. And also just food.

I can't believe that our little boy is one. It seems like yesterday we were living in Kansas and preparing for his arrival. I remember the day before. Getting the call that my doctor had swine flu and would be replaced by another OB (I was okay with that since the outcome was still me becoming unpregnant). Picking Mom and Pop Hunter up at the airport. Trying to fall asleep that night even though I was over the moon excited to meet our boy.

The morning of the blessed event I woke up at 4:30am due to incredible excitement/anxiety/thirst. Mom and Pop came over for breakfast. I didn't eat since I had surgery scheduled for 11:30. I just watched longingly as they sipped their waters. We all went to the hospital at 10 and I got set up for surgery-gowned, IVed, briefed of every way I could die during a routine C-section (apparently I was giving informed consent. I just thought our anesthesiologist was an incredible pessimist). We rolled into the OR at 11:30 and 15 minutes later we heard a nurse say "That baby's got a round head!" Then we heard his cry. He cried for 10 seconds and then was peaceful. He didn't cry again for 3 days with perfectly portrays his laid back personality although at the time we thought he might be broken. He wasn't. He was perfect. The first time I laid eyes on him, all I could see was Joel. Then he went through an Alfred Hitchcock phase but now he looks like Joel again which is good.

Son, I love you so much. I never imagined I could have so much joy in my life. Our days are blessed because of your smile, your laugh, your obsession with tupperware and your naturally curly hair. I still can't believe I get to be your mom. I can't wait to continue helping you become the man God has called you to be. That man will surely be an incredible one. And a handsome one. And a brilliant, dexterous, charitable, eloquent and temperate one. That is good with children.

I love you kiddo. Happy birthday plus 11 days.

The first time I held my boy.

Good Evening...

Current photo-Playing in the tupperware cabinet. What a genius.

About a Girl

2010-10-09T09:37:00.004-05:00

I realize we haven't blogged in a long while. It isn't because we don't want to, it's because we don't know what to say. Since our last blog, our little niece has gone to be with Jesus. It is still weird to see myself write that. We miss her terribly and although that part hurts our hearts, it it also a constant reminder that her life and her memory are with us. This blog is not intended to make you sad but I can't skip over talking about this one life that touched the lives of thousands.

We know that Ava is doing better now than she ever was on earth. Even when she was fully healthy. Even the knowledge of this fact doesn't lessen the missing her. It may be because I can't really understand that on this side of heaven but really I think it's because all of our lives were more blessed with Ava in them.

As we continue to mourn this great loss, I think mostly about Luke. I think about how Ava loved him and how excited he would be every time he saw her. I think about how she would help me feed him by wiping his face between every bite of food whether dirty or not. I think about how she would watch TV with him while holding his hand and about how impressively high her voice would get when she would talk to him. I always want him to know her. I always want him to understand how many people got to learn about Jesus because her life was short and not long. I want him to be brave like her.

I have always claimed to believe that God redeems all things. Admittedly, it is harder to stand by that statement when it is truly tested. God has been gracious in showing us a glimpse of how he is and will continue to redeem this hurt. The most recent stats from Josh (Ava's dad) for Ava's memorial service were that 9,000 viewed it throughout 49 countries. 4,000 of those viewed it live either in person or online. I know very few people whose lives have reached that many for Christ. Let alone the life of a five year old. Ava is truly an inspiration.

I have one request from all who have travelled this journey with Josh, Lisa and Noah. It is the best way you can honor Ava. Find out if Jesus is who he said he was. Start there. Allow it to be that simple.

We love you and thank you for every prayer and every word of encouragement.

Lizzy

July-August

2010-08-04T11:39:00.006-05:00

July into August has been a whirlwind to put it modestly. Our niece Ava's situation placed a perspective on our lives that can't be described outside of the sobering situation itself. When the life of someone you love is being threatened, it is hard to continue on with the tasks at hand. Everything seems trivial by comparison and to be honest, everything is. At the same time, our love for this precious girl needed to be the number one motivator for doing all things well. We are blessed beyond words to be surrounded by people who love and pray for our family as if it were their own. We are positive that this is the reason that she is doing well and why Hunter Vision was able to open its doors this past Monday.

As August 2nd rapidly approached, Joel, Josh and Hunter Vision's clinic director and whiz at everything, Katie, worked diligently to get Hunter Vision up and awesome. It worked. The place is incredible. Joel performed his first Hunter Vision procedures last week on the Hunter family and the Hunter Vision Family. Joel (the elder), Becky and Josh Hunter all received SBK (next generation LASIK). As did Ashley Simonds and Shawn Romano. Everyone is seeing like eagles as the saying goes. Our official opening day is four days past and so far it is running like a well oiled machine that runs really well. Thank you again for praying for us. You are a huge reason why.

One more note about Ava. She is doing great recovering from surgery. You can see how great in this video that her dad posted yesterday. Please keep praying for her. She is still in the thick of her battle. What an awesome kid she is. God is good and we know he can perform a miracle. Please pray that he does.

Big Cousin Ava and Luke last December

Ava

2010-06-27T17:52:00.003-05:00

Medical training can be roughly split into two halves.

The first is composed of learning the seemingly impossible complexities of how the human body works. From a biochemical level upward to whole organ systems, there are details that would require the most hardened cynic to not see the fingerprint of an almighty God who knit us together with an unfathomably delicate touch.

The second involves learning how this perfection of creation can be assaulted. It is time in the hospital working with people who are afflicted in ways that just don't seem fair. Nowhere is that disconnect more glaring than when kids get sick. It is during those times that it requires the most hardened faith to still see God's hand working in the details.

My niece Ava is one of the best people I have ever met. She has a tumor in her brain. One cell, at some point, just kept multiplying because one gene, out of 100,000 or so, isn't working to tell it to stop. And now it is up to us, the believers who trust in a God who loves us, to steel up our faith and ask to see God's hand still working in the details.

God still does miracles. The same God that knit those genes together out of 3,000,000,000 base pairs of DNA into 46 chromosomes for the first man He made can fix any of them at any time. He asks us for faith. Faith that has seen what the devil can do and then stands defiant in a belief that God still rules this world and can hold us together when we can't to it ourselves. Pray for Ava. God still hears us and He is still in the details.

Matthew 21:21: Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt...you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done."

Hunter Vacation

2010-06-26T10:11:00.004-05:00

Luke Bonding with Uncle Jan

I just got back from the Hunter family vacation in Put-in-Bay Ohio. If you don't know where that is, I don't either but it is beautiful. It is in Lake Erie and you can see Canada from where we stay so it's somewhere near Canada. We take a plane, an automobile and a boat to get there and it's worth every mode of transportation.

Our Uncle Jan and Aunt Michele own a beautiful home on the island and the whole family (this year sans Joel and Josh) spends a week together there. They are kind to invite us and are pretty incredible hosts.

Luke finally had some quality time with his Hunter cousins and he seemed to love every moment. He's a lucky kid.

I came back home to a completely empty house. Actually, all of our furniture had been replaced by dog hair. Our movers must be practical jokers. Or else the never vacuuming under furniture finally caught up with me. I could have made a complete second dog. A large one. That is hollow. And has random pieces of currency in its fur.

We move back to Florida in 5 days. Today our Kansas friends are throwing us a going away party. They are all really great and we're going to miss them.

Happy 8-Months Son!

2010-06-14T13:10:00.009-05:00

Luke-1 Day old

Luke-8 Months Old

Well Luke is growing like a weed. An extremely attractive, quick-witted, financially responsible, career driven yet family oriented, weed. I can't believe he's getting so big. It seems like yesterday I was lying in an OR hopped up on morphine and now I'm sitting at a computer drinking coffee. And also Luke is a lot bigger.

I can't get over how blessed we are to have him as our son. He's just so much fun. And also really good at chess. We don't play with pawns though. Those are a choking hazard.

Before too long he'll be walking and talking and hopefully growing some teeth. I know he won't be my baby forever and I will fight the urge to treat him like he is.

As for now, I am embracing every moment of him loving to be cuddled and kissed and sung to. It won't be long before he notices that the songs I make up don't rhyme at all. And are all sung to the tune of Billy Ocean's "Caribbean Queen." I don't know why. I can't help it.

Luke, I can't believe I get to be your mom. I can't wait to see the amazing man you become. Just don't become him too fast. I love you son.

7.75 Months

2010-06-06T15:12:00.005-05:00

Luke is rapidly approaching 8 months of age. In that time he has reached the following milestones:

Rolling over

Rolling over the other way

Saying, "Mama"

Saying, "Dada"

Saying, "Yaya"

Inventing the word, "Yaya."

Growing extremely long sideburns...

and the list goes on a little bit.

He's well on his way to crawling. He rocks back and forth on his hands and knees. I was hoping he'd wait a few more months to become mobile because I quite enjoy not having to chase him around the house but I'd give it two weeks tops.

Having this amazingly brilliant, well-mannered, incredibly articulate young man in our lives for the past eight months has resulted in a quite a lot of video footage. I was recently watching some of our almost eight month old footage and realized that our son has become much more handsome with time. Although in our euphoric new parent haze, we couldn't imagine our son becoming any more attractive than he was at birth. Here is some of said footage. You can see how the months have been good to ol' Luke.

Luke and a Burp Rag

2010-05-26T12:31:00.003-05:00

Here's a video that Joel and I stumbled across the other day. It was taken about a month ago and really made us laugh. You'll hear said laughter in the video and probably think it's a our handy man or our mail man or some other type of man. It's not. It's me. Luke should be so lucky as to inherit such a manly laugh.

This is 6-month-old Luke getting over stimulated by a burp rag. He makes noises like a baby pterodactyl. Or what pterodactyls sound like in movies and in my imagination. Joel makes noises like a Joel. Enjoy.

(Just a preface to this video: Our kid does occasionally wear pants.)

Update and First Date

2010-05-25T13:15:00.007-05:00

I realize it's been a while since we posted. We've had quite a month. I just got back from a two week stint in Orlando. We intended it to be a one week stint but once I was down there we decided I better tab on an extra week. There was a lot to be done.

The timing was prompted by my brother Tim's college graduation. Congratulations Tim!!!

It was great for Luke to get to spend some time around his Aunt's, Uncles and cousins. Here are some pictures of Luke with some family.

The Ariza Crew

Luke and cousin Elijah

Luke and cousins Ava and Noah

Luke really likes grass

Luke thinks aunts are hilarious

I got to see the clinic for the first time since last summer. It looks amazing! Josh and Lisa have done a great job picking out paint, wood, tile, etc. and the clinic is going to be top notch once it's finished. One of my primary goals was to go with Lisa and get furniture. It was a big job but we did it and it's going to look awesome.

Another Florida task was finding us a home since we move in 5 weeks. This was actually more difficult but we found a great house that is being rented to us by a great couple. It was definitely a God send. Now we don't have to worry about getting pull out couches for the Hunter Vision lobby.

I didn't have much social time but one thing I had to get in was a meeting for Luke and little Janie Simonds. She is adorable. Luke thought so too. Here is some footage of this newly formed May-December romance.

First Food

2010-04-21T10:36:00.003-05:00

Our baby boy is becoming a young man. He turned 6-months old last week and had his introduction to solid food last night. He didn't love it but he did provide us with some priceless entertainment. He was eating rice cereal which, in his defense, looks super disgusting. That's what the pediatrician recommended so at least I have a scapegoat for this trauma.

Luke is currently weighing in at 16 lbs. 3 oz. which means he gained over 10 lbs. since birth. The kid's a genius!

Slap Happy

2010-03-10T10:53:00.004-06:00

Here is a video of one of my favorite things Luke does. When he gets really tired he gets slap happy and starts laughing uncontrollably. I like that fatigue makes him deliriously happy and not the alternative. This is the best time to test out new comedy material if you want a boost of confidence.

Parenting

2010-03-08T09:35:00.011-06:00

First, a message from Luke

The thing about parenting is that there are no do-overs. We have one shot to try to help this little man live to his full potential when he's a big man. I am often overwhelmed by the blessing and the responsibility of this task.

Joel and I are fortunate to have had upstanding parents from whom to glean wisdom. (You can probably tell I was trying really hard to avoid ending that last sentence in a preposition.) Pop (Joel's dad) recently preached a great sermon on parenting. I would highly recommend it to all parents. I can vouch for his and Mom's credibility as I am married to one of their credentials.

Our blog cut off one side of this video. As Joel said, "It looks like the camera man had one eye." He would know. He's an ophthalmologist. If you'd like to see the full-screen version, you can go to www.northlandchurch.net.

The Goings On in Overland Park

2010-02-18T11:10:00.010-06:00

Yesterday I took Luke to his 4-month check up. He did great! He had gained about 4 pounds since his last appointment and had grown 2 and a half inches! He's so talented. He had 6 vaccinations which he took like a young Lou Ferrigno. But with better control of his temper. He averages about a 5 second recovery time per shot. Impressive.

Unfortunately he had a rough reaction to the vaccinations later in the afternoon and we had about an hour of inconsolability (I'm not even going to check to see if that's an actual word). He finally regained his composure and was great for the rest of the day. Plus last night he slept like a..... well, I was going to say baby but 1. I think that would be redundant and 2. I don't think the person who created that phrase had ever met a baby. If used accurately it would describe someone who wakes up crying a lot. So Luke slept like an adult last night. 8 hours strong.

Today, I received word from Josh (Hunter) that Hunter Vision has received an NPI number so I'm going to work on getting registered with Medicare. So far I have learned that tackling this project will require less skill and more willingness to come across like an idiot on the phone with someone who doesn't like their job. I'm pretty comfortable with that so hopefully the process will go smoothly.

To end this blog, I am going to include this picture of Luke looking super crazy...

Luke doesn't really look like this but I would love him even if he did

Happy Four Months Luke!

2010-02-15T12:25:00.012-06:00

Yesterday Luke turned four months! Oh, and it was also Valentine's Day. Joel and I generally forego the big Valentine's Day hoopla . We usually just spend a low key day together at home. For instance, last year we spent a large portion of the day tying a heart shaped balloon to Roxie and taking pictures.

This year we raised the bar. Joel, being the awesome husband he is, bought me 2 dozen red roses and the best card ever. I bought him the movie "Unforgiven" and a Take Five bar. He wins.

Front of card

Inside of card. Get it?

Roxie celebrated Valentine's Day by pooping in the house. Twice. I almost celebrated by dropping her off in the woods somewhere. I did have to take into consideration, last year's balloon incident. I sort of had it coming.

Joel and I enjoyed the day by watching the recent addition to our DVD collection (an excellent film), going to the gym together and building a fire (in our fireplace). I then continued the festivities by washing my new ipod shuffle on gentle cycle in the washing machine. That's the problem with tiny, pocket-sized electronic devices. They often end up in pockets.

Luke ended the day with a Valentine's Day photo shoot for his lady love, Janie Simonds. We want to make sure she doesn't forget him while they live many lonely miles apart. I think we succeeded.

Here is a video of Luke's shoot. You can see how much he loves wearing a suit.

Glorious Sleep

2010-02-05T09:25:00.006-06:00

As of this week, Luke is officially sleeping through the night. (knock on wood) It started last Saturday night and I thought it was too good to be true. Then it happened again on Sunday. Still, I went to bed Monday night expecting to be woken up in 2 and a half hours. Nope. He slept for 6 and a half hours. Finally after 5 nights strong, the week reached it's pinnacle with Luke sleeping 9 hours. In a row. Without medication.

I woke up at 7 this morning and asked Joel to go check and make sure he was still kicking. He was.

Today I am feeling great and as Joel observed at 7:30 this morning, "You must feel rested because you're actually talking to me in the morning." Why yes I was and yes I do. Thanks Luke. This week has been quite marriage building. You deserve a pony.

This is what Luke looks like now. Handsome.

Working On Working Out

2010-01-22T12:24:00.010-06:00

I was going to call this blog, "Back in the Saddle" but didn't for two reasons. 1. I think Joel already used that title for one of his blogs and 2. I am not really back in the saddle. I merely sat in the saddle one time and considered sitting in it again a couple of other times and that is not a very good title for anything.

I finally reinstated my gym membership. I bought a new pair of work out pants in an size appropriate for my new, more maternal physique, used some Christmas money to buy a new ipod shuffle to try to trick myself into thinking exercise is fun and hit up the Lifetime Fitness across the street. Entering the gym for the first time in a long while I was wishing I was wearing a t-shirt that said, "I had a baby kind of recently. That is the reason I look the way I do." I don't think they make those.

As I made my way to the rows of dumbells to choose my poison, I thought, "I'll just pick up something light and go up from there." I did not go up from there. I might as well have curled a couple of cans of soup at home.

After my intense upper body work out featuring some Arnold presses with 7.5 lb. dumbbells and some upright rows with a barbell that didn't have any weight on it at all, I figured I should get in some cardio. I hopped on the treadmill in front of a flat screen with CNN playing in closed caption not realizing that reading while walking makes me motion sick. I decided to walk 4 miles per hour, a decent clip but one I've easily managed before. About half a mile in I was panting like I was in the last leg of a marathon and tripping over my feet trying to keep up. I decided to check my pulse thinking it was up there....like 170 or so. It was 190. From what I hear, that is very high. I just told myself that the treadmill pulse gizmo was inaccurate and kept on. I didn't die, so don't worry, that's not how this blog ends. About a mile and a half later, I decided that I'd rather be home sitting on the couch so I left. Three days later, my arms are still pretty sore and I am considering a second visit to the gym. Although I would hate to burn myself out too quickly.

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

2010-01-08T13:28:00.007-06:00

This week has been a big week in the baby department. Two beautiful girls were brought into this world by two incredible women.

Our cousin Angela delivered her baby girl, Lydia, on Monday, January 4th. Ang, not expecting to meet this little one until March, had to have an emergency c-section due to a very serious medical condition (you can view Amber's blog for more information). The good news is that God is faithful. Ang is a tough cookie and appears to be on the mend. Little Lydia is thriving and doing as well as possible for a 2 lb, 11oz human. She is a perfect, tiny baby and has amazing parents to love and care for her. We are continuing to pray for the health of mom and baby and are thankful that they are doing so well.

Our dear friends Andy and Ashley Simonds had their daughter at about 12:30 am, January 7th. Janie Caroline Simonds is sweet and beautiful and all things grand. She will make an excellent match for our boy Luke in a couple of decades. We are hoping to find a way to arrange a marriage for them and so far, I have to say, Luke seems to be quite taken with her. Andy and Ashley are going to be amazing parents and we are so thankful to have them in our lives. Little Janie Simonds is one blessed child.

Luke first setting eyes on the lovely Janie. He is clearly spellbound.

A Year in Review

2010-01-01T14:40:00.027-06:00

Well, it's 2010. A big year for our family. In just six months we will move back to Orlando for the grand unveiling of Hunter Vision, the best LASIK and cataract center on the planet. Joel and Josh are an amazing team and this practice will surely be remarkable. As we begin a new year's journey, I like to take a look back at the previous year and recount its happenings.

With the arrival of our son, 2009 was the most transformative year of my life to date. Here is a list of some of our most memorable moments in the past year. Joel and I (in chronological order with captions by Joel):

1. Went to the Florida State fair together for the first time (Joel may not have added this to the list but it was monumental to me).

Lizzy paid a dollar to see this. It was the only ride she let me skip.

2. Found out we were going to be parents.

Luke at 10 weeks. If you zoom in, he is already reading a tiny book (1776).

3. Located the worst movers on the planet who, for a small fee (not small), kindly damaged and /or destroyed our belongings before dropping them off in Kansas.

A box of ours, courtesy of The Movers Group. They pay a giant to kick boxes to each location.

4. Moved to Overland Park, Kansas for Joel's fellowship with the world renowned Dr. Dan Durrie.

Phone picture of Durrie Vision I took after my interview in May 2008.

5. Filed many complaints with the Better Business Bureau against The Movers Goup.

Lizzy is proud to be partly responsible for this rating.

6. Took up camping and fishing together (well, we camped once and fished twice).

The fist looks bigger when you hold it out in front of you like this.

This may be my favorite picture ever of Lizzy.

7. Joined Covenant Chapel and made some wonderful friends.

Luke's first visit to church (This photo doesn't quite fit in the chronology correctly)

8. Welcomed our handsome, talented, intelligent, articulate, astute, innovative, industrious, affable.....son, Luke Joel Hunter!

First family photo.

9. Had some amazing visits from, Pop and Grandma Hunter, Uncle Josh and Aunt Lisa, Grandma Ariza, Aunt Kari, Aunt Kaci and cousin Elijah, Uncle Isaac and Aunt Rhonda, Titi Nessa and Uncle Josh (the other one) and Aunt Lauren.

We don't have a photo of all of our loved ones that visited. Here is a picture of me with a Polish chicken at the Kansas City Zoo

10. Had a white Christmas for our first family Christmas!

Pretty Christmas view off our porch.

I was going to resolve this year to always know where my phone is at all times and have it fully charged (right now I actually think it's dead under Luke's crib or dresser or maybe in my car) but after reading this, I might have to switch it to letting thing go or letting bygones be bygones or letting sleeping dogs lie or to coin a new phrase, "not be mad at our mover anymore."

Happy New Year to you all! 2010 is the year of perfect vision!

Snow Driving

2009-12-09T14:10:00.012-06:00

The view from our apartment after last night's snow fall

I have tried a few times in the past few weeks to contribute to this blog but every time I begin to write an entry I get bored with myself and stop. You will be glad that I didn't post any of my most recent compositions. They went a little something like this "Today I put a load of darks in the wash. Luke ate 47 times. I am very tired."

It is a cold snowy day here in Kansas. I have our thermostat set to island temperature so that I can still wear shorts at my leisure. Acutally, I am super paranoid about Luke being too cold so I make sure our apartment feels like it sits directly on the equator. Do you know what direction our toilets would flush? Me neither. Anyway, Luke sweats a lot.

Last night I decided to tackle some Christmas shopping. I geared up and exited our apartment. To my surprise it was snowing. I thought, "This is great! What perfect weather for holiday shopping!" Then I thought, "I've never driven in snow, I wonder if it's difficult? (The answer is yes) I've driven in a hurricane so this should be a breeze. (foolish)"

I realize that driving in snow is a competition to see who can drive the slowest. I won. Wait, no. I came in 2nd. I was grateful to the person who won because If they had not been driving 35 MPH below the speed limit, I would have certainly hit them when I did a 180 and wound up facing against the flow of traffic. Fortunately I was only going 15 MPH so I just bounced off a curb and didn't hurt the car. The car that I just avoided hitting also hydroplaned which I may have been responsible for since I think they broke suddenly when they saw me drifting. So, we're good friends now. A bit shaken and teary, I called Joel for support. I decided, only 5 snow-driving minutes away from my destination, that I better just turn around and idle home with my hazard lights on and never drive again. I understand now that the term, "Florida Ice" was coined by someone who doesn't know what the word "ice" means.

As an end to our evening, Joel asked me "If I always cried a lot or if it was just since we've been married." I don't cry a lot. He cries a lot.

NFL game

2009-12-08T22:03:00.003-06:00

The players were frozen like this until spring.

I went to my first NFL game this weekend. The Chiefs were playing the Broncos and Dr. Durrie asked me if I wanted to join him. If Durrie asked me to join him in sitting on a block of ice in a walk-in freezer and focus on something incomprehensible for two hours, I would do it. Hyperbole? No, it was very very cold and football is harder for me to understand than Bob Dylan lyrics.

Durrie said that I should "bundle up" because it was going to be cold, so I wore a coat. Midway through the second quarter (for the uninitiated, a "quarter" in football equals 1000 minutes), I realized "bundling up" means a different thing in Kansas than it does in Florida. My bones hurt. When he asked if I was cold, I said, "Nnnnn." Then I asked if they make the football out of some kind of shatter-resistant material.

The Chiefs lost. They lost bad. Everyone in the stands booed their own quarterback at several points. It takes a lot of emotional fortitude to be the Chiefs' quarterback. After a fumble at the end of the third quarter, Durrie asked if I wanted to go. I tried to say that I was the only person in the stadium that wanted to leave more than our quarterback, but I said, "Nnnnn."

I love hanging out with Dr. Durrie. On the way home, he said more wise things than most people say in their whole life. He knows more about refractive surgery than probably anyone in the world, and I want to know that much too. What would you do to spend time with someone from whom you have that much to learn? I'd watch football in the freezing cold.

fun week

2009-11-24T06:51:00.004-06:00

Hard to get a post in this week. That is how a fence maker might also begin a blog. For him it would be a double entendre. For me, it is just the one entendre. We are busy folks, but it is all good busy. Lizzy continues to raise Luke to be a good, strong, wise man. She finally got to nap while he napped yesterday and was a new woman. She might even beat this cold that has been harder to get rid of than an unwanted piece of glitter on your face.

For me, the doc that runs the pre and post op clinics at Durrie Vision is off for the week, so I get to do that all week. I love, love doing this. Weeks like this week confirm for me 100% that Hunter Vision is exactly the way I am supposed to spend the rest of my life. As you can imagine, there is a little suspicion of me when I walk in a room to see a patient expecting to see Dr. Durrie, because it is his name on the building. But it has become clear over the course of the last 5 months that, more than anything, people just need to know that you know what you're doing. If that is established, everyone is happier. And if that doesn't work, I tell them that my name is on the other side of the building.

Josh and Lauren get here today. That's my brother-in-law and his girlfriend from California. I enjoy them both immensely (though I've only ever met Lauren through Facebook). They are much much cooler than me, so I am going to have to buy a pair of high tops or a Criss Cross CD or whatever it is cool people do now. Ed Hardy shirts? I don't know. Anyway, I'm excited. I finished this in a rush because I am leaving for work now.

no words

2009-11-20T22:15:00.007-06:00

Early early days.

That title for this blog is obviously a lie, as there are a lot of words written here. But today was just one of those days where words seem like they fall a little short of capturing the enormity of the events unfolding around us. Until today, Hunter Vision was a wonderful idea of a way that Josh and I would use our gifts to change the world around us for the better. I thought how great it would be if we provided all the stuff I learned in this last decade and a half in a way that made God happy, and Josh figured out a way to make that into a pretty amazing business model. We just sat around for an hour or so a day for the last four years talking it over (Lisa took that picture up above of this two years ago). But until today, it was just a beautiful dream.

Today, though, we completed the final paperwork to secure the loan that will bring Hunter Vision into existence for the rest of the world to enjoy, too. It is just almost too good to be true. All we can see from here to the horizon is a lifetime of prayer and hard work doing something we love. Who could ask for something better than that?

Man time

2009-11-18T20:30:00.013-06:00

I just told him the ending of The Sixth Sense

A lot of times, in the evening I'll take care of Luke so that Lizzy can try to get a short nap before she goes to bed for the night for a series of short naps. It is a good time for Luke and I to talk about hunting, stare very wide-eyed at each other, review medical dictation software, work on our neck muscle strength... whatever we want. It is man time.

But tonight poor Lizzy hasn't slept at all because she has a cold. She's been in our bedroom for an hour and a half with the lights off clearing her throat and sniffing every 2 minutes. Maybe she's just having a dream where she is trying to get someone's attention who smells good. I hope so because she really, really needs some sleep. When I got home today, she looked like a very beautiful walking dead person. A mombie. That's a mom that's a zombie. And that's a boke.*

In other news, Lizzy and I signed off on all the final paperwork for the loan for Hunter Vision today. Friday, Josh does his signing at the bank (of the papers, not sign language), and it is official! It is nothing short of a miracle that Josh has been able to pull this off. Thanks to him, Hunter Vision will now have vim, vigor, and money. Before, we just had the first two. Big things to talk about during man time tonight!

* Bad joke.

old video

2009-11-17T19:58:00.005-06:00

Since we haven't posted in a while, we thought we'd go through old videos of Luke (I guess not that old) and try to find one of him doing a cartwheel or inventing bifocals. Instead, we found this one from the night before he was born.

I was barefoot and the couch was closer than I thought.

milestones

2009-11-01T14:01:00.000-06:00

I haven't written a blog since the birth of our son for fear that all I would talk about was how tired I am. I will say this, what they say about never sleeping once you have a newborn is not propaganda. I haven't slept longer than about a 2 hour stretch since he came into our lives. I will also say I have never been so content to be so sleep deprived.

As a new parent I find I have transformed into a person I never thought I'd be. I relish in every bit of minutia related to our son. I celebrate every milestone. Even ones that aren't actual milestones, just things Luke does. The other day he peed all over the bathroom mirror. I think he was writing his name. In cursive. What a boy.

Here's an actual milestone: rolling over

Ever since the moment we heard his cry, we have been madly in love with this little boy who spends his time robbing us of sleep and requiring a lot of laundering of tiny clothes. It is amazing how much we can love another person. What they say about the love you feel for your child, also not propaganda. Seeing him and experiencing love as a parent has given me a tiny glimpse of how our Creator must love us. What an awesome and humbling thing to behold.

recap

2009-10-27T23:09:00.000-05:00

Between my trip to California and Lizzy's not sleeping for two weeks, we haven't updated much. I thought I'd recap the last few days.

The American Academy of Ophthalmology meeting was in San Francisco this weekend. On the way to the airport, I realized I forgot an important lecture on a flash drive and tried to do a U-turn (at a very safe and low traffic area, Mom) on the highway. My front wheels immediately sank in median mud up to the axles. After realizing that spinning my wheels and sending mud hundreds of feet in front and behind me wasn't going to work, I had an idea that seemed really logical at the time (but much more irrational in hindsight). I got out of the car and tried to lift the front of it out of the mud like an adrenaline-powered mother lifting a car off a child. I made terrific weightlifter noises and lifted with all my might. Instead of lifting the car, I drove myself into the mud like a slow nail. The highway patrol came by and called a tow truck that winched me out of the muck. I made it to the airport, but by then I looked like I had just escaped from prison.

The academy meeting was fine. It is fun to hang out with the ophthalmology superstars from around the world, but I missed Lizzy and Luke a lot. It was the first meeting that Lizzy couldn't join me. Josh came to the last big meeting with me and that was also much better. All the ophthalmic sales people in the world come to prey on people like me when Josh isn't there. I won't go into details, but I'll just say that a lot of vendors for products that I'll never use have my email address now. That includes a salesman for an automated telemarketing system (really).

I'm home with my wife and boy again, and I am so glad. Luke grew 18 inches while I was gone and read all of The Grapes of Wrath. He says he didn't understand the symbolism, though. Alright, decreasing coherence in the last paragraph signals its time for my sign off. Lizzy is feeding Luke and I'm going to spend some family time before we all go to bed (for 20 minutes).

Parent-colored glasses

2009-10-22T00:27:00.005-05:00

That is supposed to be a play on the term "rose-colored glasses," but it doesn't really work now that I see it written out. What would that even mean? That's not a color. There is no "parent" colored crayon even in the really big box. What a ridiculous digression to begin this blog. I am up later than I have been in a long time. Luke's a night owl.

The point is that we are realizing that being a parent endows you with a unique view of your child. Lizzy and I think it is obvious after one week of life that Luke is talented to a superhuman degree. It has a lot to do with us being his parents, since his main skill set at this point is wiggling. We were really hoping to get video of him smiling meaningfully tonight, or maybe saying a few wise words. We failed. Here is a video excerpt of him not smiling.

less sleep

2009-10-21T06:26:00.006-05:00

24/7

Pretty much, Lizzy doesn't sleep anymore. Luke wakes up in the middle of the night more than once and asks to eat. I roll over and incoherently ask if she wants me to drive him to Subway, and she dutifully gets up and goes and feeds him appropriate nutrition. I've never gotten to see my wife work this hard. I'm not sure I've ever gotten to see anyone work this hard. But she's done the whole deal with a smile on her face. I mean a literal smile. What a woman.

It's taken a while to write anything because our schedules are a wee bit different now. I hesitated to write even this, because I worried that Lizzy might get more advice on how raise Luke differently. People like to tell you child-rearing tips. "Oh, put him to bed with a live hamster" "Never let him sleep without adult-sized sunglasses on" "Put him in a large, open Bible each night." We don't know which tips are the right ones, so we just stick to the books we read.

We are so happy, though. Neither of us knew we could love anything the way we love this guy. This really is the best time of our entire lives. I can't wait to tell Lizzy about it later because I'm not sure she will be able to remember as much of it on six minutes of sleep a night.

Oh Happy Day

2009-10-15T07:42:00.004-05:00

Somehow, Lizzy looks like this after surgery.

After a long night, daylight is starting to creep in through the window. Luke is taking another crack at trying to figure out how to eat and doing an amazing job. He is a genius. Yesterday his temperature was a little low, but he has persevered and gotten it to 98.2. Incredible. He is like Rocky Balboa. I couldn't possibly have imagined 24 hours ago that I would be this proud of a floppy 6-pound human, but I am. We love this young man more than we knew we could.

Look at how great it is when he yawns! What a boy!

Luke is Here!!!

2009-10-14T16:41:00.003-05:00

Guest Blogger: Brother, Brother in-law, Uncle etc... Josh Hunter

Lizzy did great! Luke is healthy...all is well. Joel and Lizzy are resting and the rest of the Hunter posse that is here in Kansas is just hanging out in various places around town. It's colder than an "I don't know what" here. Luke is awesome. He pretty much just sleeps and makes noises like a tree frog so far. Here are a few pics I am sure you would all like to see...

Lizzy loves her new boy...

Eyes wide open...

A family pic...

Pop and Grandma...

Family of 3!

All for now. Keep praying for Joel and Lizzy and baby Luke...the journey has just begun.

-Josh out.

4 AM wakeup

2009-10-13T04:21:00.010-05:00

What our house looks like at 4am

I've been up since 4 thanks to the little man who decided to press on some nerve that causes acute pain. I guess I can't blame him since he doesn't really realize he's living inside another human being. Actually, he might. I expect that he is very intellectually advanced.

I can hear our next door neighbors' baby crying right now which gives me a sampling of what I'm trading for the freedom to sleep on my stomach. Although, I don't expect that Luke will cry much since he will probably be born fluent in 5 languages. I hope one of them is English.

Tomorrow's the great gettin' up morning. Also, it's our niece Ella's birthday. Happy Birthday Ella! (I'll say it again tomorrow) What a great day for our son to be born.

What I look like at 4am

At home

2009-10-11T19:40:00.002-05:00

These are our last few nights at home before Luke gets here. I used to think that maybe parents became parent-like after they had children, but it turns out that the metamorphosis begins before that. Lizzy and I make videos now with the new camera so that we can show Luke when he's old enough to understand them (3 months old). Our lives revolve around a kid we haven't met yet, as evidenced by this video.

Growing up, you never realize how cool your parents were before they were your parents. We decided to take video evidence of us pre-Luke to show him. I think we may have actually accomplished the opposite of our goal.

My life lately

2009-10-09T07:51:00.008-05:00

I realize I have done a poor job of contributing to this blog lately and I will say it's mainly because I haven't done anything worth writing about. I have spent my days completing fairly mundane tasks. Many in preparation for Luke's arrival. Many because it's just good hygiene.

I washed and folded laundry. See, boring. I ate oatmeal for breakfast. See, boring. It was strawberry flavored. Slightly less boring. I put too much water in it. Boring again.

Tuesday Joel and I went to Babies'R'Us to go on a massive baby supply shopping spree. I would tell you what we purchased but some of their names are embarrassing to type/read. I have to say the shopping trip was less unpleasant than we had originally expected. I have often compared said store to purgatory so you can understand why we weren't looking forward it.

At the end of our shopping experience we were helped by a kind, grandmotherly woman named Marta. She was our favorite part of Babies'R'Us. We even considered asking her to be our new best friend. We ended up deciding against it because we both have a fear of rejection. Maybe next time.

Yesterday I had a car seat inspected. That was a sobering event. Generally my car contains lots of empty soda bottles and dog hair. Never anything that attaches me to real responsibility. I went to the Olathe Police Department to have it checked. I was a little scared since historically speaking, police officers have never been especially kind to me. I figured that the officers who inspect car seats would be in extra low spirits because somehow the job that trained them to correctly operate a fire arm had landed them in the rain, looking inside the cars of pregnant women. I just assumed they would write me a ticket as soon as I got there for unkempt hair or a wrinkly sweater. They are usually good at coming up with reasons to write those.

I was pleasantly surprised that the two officers were extremely nice to me. They didn't ask me if I knew how fast I was going or tell me that they have the authority to take me to jail. Nope, they just asked me when I was having the baby, told me that the car seat was secure, and wished me luck. I guess being pregnant is a some sort of mutant ability that makes people who aren't usually nice to you, nice to you. I think I'm going to start carrying a prosthetic belly in my car from next Wednesday on just as a precautionary measure.

In case you are wondering what the rest of my day holds, I am going to wash baby clothes in some sort of detergent that is supposed to keep them from breaking out in a rash. Then I might go to the dry cleaners or even vacuum. Who knows. The world is my oyster.

Our fireplace

2009-10-09T05:42:00.004-05:00

But the fire is so delightful.

Our fireplace is working now. The apartment complex fix-it man came and jerry-rigged a flue opener with a wire hanger. Our fix-it guy is MacGyver. He also showed us a way that we can hang up our clothes using old flue openers.

We bought a few bundles of wood from the grocery store and we've had a fire every night for four nights now. We don't have any kindling, so I have been rolling up entire ophthalmology journals and using them instead. I'm pretty sure that the reason you're not supposed to do that is that it fills your entire fireplace with very tall piles of ash. The fire sits higher each night because I pile the journals and wood on top of the ash from the night before. It will just be in our chimney soon. I should clean it, but I am procrastinating because I don't think it will be fun at all, and I think I will come out of it looking like a cartoon cigar blew up in my face.

But it has all been well worth the hassle. It makes our home very peaceful in the evenings, and we know that peaceful nights are about to be in short supply when the little man gets here. While the fire is glowing and it is cold and dark outside, Lizzy and I enjoy the last few nights of quiet for us as parents, and Luke enjoys his last few nights of quiet as a baby. It's good family time.

I panicked

2009-10-08T05:41:00.008-05:00

You know part of why I think Hunter Vision will be great instead of just good? Division of labor. One of our key tenets going into this is to only let people do the job they were born to do, and try to keep the other stuff away from them. That means all medical decisions are mine, all business decisions are Josh's. He just said yesterday, "I would love it if you never had to talk to a sales person, but just told me what we needed and I handle it." I would love it too, because business conversations are as fun to me as watching The View or getting a calf cramp. I have no business sense.

Any doubt of that was shattered yesterday. At 5:30 pm, I got a phone call from an unknown number. I don't want to miss it if it is a patient, so I answer. I hear, "Hello Joel, it's Chad Blaine Maplethorpe (or some other businessy name), from the (funding company I can't remember). Can I talk to your for a moment?" Oh no, I thought. I hate these conversations. I hate them. I tried to bob and weave. "Sure, but let me give you a disclaimer at the beginning, my brother handles all the business stuff. I can fix eyes, but I really don't know anything about money." Well, I might as well have poured chum all around me. This man makes his living off pressuring people who don't know enough to make good choices. He can sense someone like me who tips 150% for a bad haircut just so he can stay friends with the Great Clips lady.

He asked me a series of pointed questions, and I finally said he really should talk to my brother because I wasn't going to be helpful, and I just want to help, and I think we really could be best friends if we'd met in a different life. "Oh sure, can I have your brother's number?" And I start thinking, "Oh man, I don't think Josh would want this guy to call him. This guy should just wait for Josh to call. I can't give him Josh's number." So I said, "Sure! Uhh, hmmm, oh wait, I don't have it." And he says, "You don't have your brother's cell phone number?" What a ludicrous lie to tell! Who would possibly believe that? But I say, "No, oh wait, let me look, oh, no I don't." Ridiculous.

In full panic and confusion, I had no idea what I was saying. I just started compulsively lying. I wondered during my morning prayers if you are allowed to plead insanity to God. Either way, it is clear to me that part of what will be great about Hunter Vision is that Josh and I are strong where the other is weak. I'd like to think he would panic if someone asked him to lift a 100 micron flap on a cornea and ablate the eye underneath it with a laser. Ask me to do that, and we're good. Ask me to buy the instrument to lift the flap, and I will likely tell you I would but I'm deaf and you should talk to my brother but he's on a space mission right now.

new camera

2009-10-06T22:01:00.005-05:00

Tonight, Lizzy and I got our new camera up and running in preparation for Luke getting here. This is the first movie I took with her. I said, "watch how we can do slow motion movies!" and started going, "blah bloo blah blee" without explaining to her what I was doing. She thought I was taking a picture. I am posting this purely for her reaction in the last second.

Lizzy's reaction to crazy

O frabjous day!

2009-10-06T06:38:00.005-05:00

What a day yesterday was! My brother Josh, the great wizard, managed to get us the money that we need to start Hunter Vision. It has been months of work, and years of planning to get to this point, but my brother, the first man in space, has gotten us off the ground. I spent half my life dedicated to training for this clinic, but had no way on earth to see this through. That is until my brother, the inventor of mathematics, brought it all together. Without him, Hunter Vision would have been me with a laser pointer, making a buzzing sound with my mouth.

Then my wife, the queen of beauty, dropped a bombshell. (I mean a figurative bombshell. She wasn't literally carrying old artillery shells from my souvenir collection and then dropped one. I don't even have a collection like that. This is unnecessary parenthetical distraction, I realize now.) "Joel," she said, "Kaci is going to come to Kansas two weeks after the birth and I want you to go on the hunting trip with your brothers. You really need a vacation." An incomprehensible piece of news. What nine-month pregnant woman says something like that? No one has ever heard that without it being followed by, "and let me get a pillow for you. And bring you a drink. Comfortable? (smile disappears in a scary way) You are a jerk. I have a baby in me, and you are a stupid jerk who doesn't know how uncomfortable it is to be pregnant."

I got no follow up like that from my wife. She's seen that I'm all stressed out and genuinely offered for me to go on the annual Hunter brother hunting trip. What a lady. She is all that is kind and pure and right in the world. I am married to pure sunlight. I love her.

So Hunter Vision will be the wonderful place we hoped it would, and I will soon be in a tree stand soaking in a beautiful northern Ohio November. God is good. Josh already wrote about all this, but it is the type of news that deserves to be told twice. If you want to be in a great mood, read this blog and his back to back. If you want a secret message, read every other word of his blog alternating with every other word of mine.

NASCAR

2009-10-05T06:26:00.008-05:00

Before the race. Mom: the beverage to my right belonged to the man taking this picture.

I went to my first NASCAR race this weekend, which as I understand it, stands for National American Sports Car American Racing. My boss Dr. Durrie asked if I wanted to go to the weekend NASCAR race with him. I idolize this man. To get an idea of what it was like to be invited to spend time with him outside of work, imagine being 12 years old and being invited to hang out with the Jonas brothers (if you are a girl) or Billy Ray Cyrus' daughter (if you are a boy) or Billy Ray Cyrus (if you are a NASCAR fan).

To get ready on Saturday morning, I put on jeans and a sweat shirt and a camo hat with a deer on it. I kind of worried I would look like I was trying too hard, until I got out of the car. I honestly saw men in full camo, as if they had just climbed down out of deer stands to attend this event. Walking into the speedway, there were huge trailers, each of them dedicated to a single driver. The trailers had huge, 10-foot pictures of these drivers looking very stern, with their arms on their hips. And NASCAR drivers are very light sensitive, so they wear sunglasses in every picture.

One of these is a real driver, and one is me.

The race itself was great. I sat next to Durrie for three hours. You can't really talk during the race because it is so loud that you have to wear big giant ear protectors like you would see at a shooting range. Every now and then, Durrie would tap me on the shoulder (I'd smile and wave hoping he wouldn't ask me to take off the headphones) then he'd motion for me take off the headphones (it was like getting punched in the ear by screaming engines), then he'd lean over and say what sounded like, "Bwar gaffen a stall bregner haddle!" It was too loud to have any idea what these words were supposed to be. I'd look to see if he was smiling or serious and then say "HA!" or "geez!" accordingly.

All in all, it was a fine day. Durrie and I filed out of the stands with 80,000 good people who love Jesus and love NASCAR, though not always in that order. On the drive home, he and I talked about Hunter Vision, and I was glad. Mostly because he is a better resource than anyone else I could ever find, but also because it is very possible that he was starting to think I was an idiot savant when he was sitting next to me at the race. I'd say I came out even on the day.

Throw Another Blog on the Fire

2009-10-03T08:11:00.018-05:00

The morning mist is lifting and our house is just starting to warm past 40 degrees (fahrenheit, although 40 degrees celsius would be uncomfortable also). Last night did not go as planned.

As autumn in Kansas is settling in, the weather is cooling and it seemed like the perfect time to christen the fireplace in our apartment. Although it's not as cold as the locals love to tell me it is going to get, "You're from Florida?!" they say. "Good luck this winter!" Then I come back with something very clever and pithy. "Good luck every day!"

So last night we had weather that we would normally see in a Florida winter. We decided to go to the store and buy some bundles of fire wood and the makings for s'mores. It seemed like the perfect way to spend a Friday evening.

Joel, the veteran fire builder in our household found the perfect kindling (I believe it was the pages of a Foreign Affairs magazine) and prepared to ignite. Flue open, check. That's really all I know you check for when lighting a fire. Anyway he did and the flue was definitely open. As Joel proceeded to light the pages filled with information about the economic state of the Soviet Union (it was an old issue), our apartment proceeded to fill with smoke. Joel checked again. Flue open, check. It wasn't acting open, but either way we pushed the lever it produced the same result, smoke billowing into our apartment.

Within seconds we had a roaring fire going with the smoke detectors confirming its presence. Joel, with his super-human pain tolerance began pulling flaming logs off the fire as I turned on the stove fan, pulled my sweatshirt over my face and yelled, "My eyes, my eyes!" I then grabbed the dog and ran out onto the porch. I am not very cool-headed in a crisis. Joel dismembered the smoke detectors and finished extinguishing the fire.

As it was too cold for us Floridians to stay outside, we took refuge in our less smokey bedroom with the windows open and the fans blowing. Instead of a night of warming up to a cozy fire, there we sat on the floor of our room, shivering and feeding the dog the graham crackers intended for our s'mores (an effort to put meat on her bones before winter. I hear they are bad here. "Just wait," they tell me. "YOU just wait." That's what I say to them.) We had to sleep with the windows open and our house still smells like a camp fire. I woke up this morning to Joel covering our dog with blankets because she looked cold. It was very cute. Now I am going to call the apartment office and tell them there are some flaws with the engineering of our fireplace. They will probably tell me about how bad Kansas winters are.

slow morning

2009-10-02T06:42:00.008-05:00

This is why Yosemite Sam never got anything done.

I got up at 5 this morning just like I was supposed to. I came to this dining room table an hour and a half ago and opened this MacBook to write a blog. The blog writing thing is supposed to gently transition me out of dead-to-the-world sleep Joel into ready-for-the-day morning Joel. But no thoughts would come to my head this morning. My brain was firing one, maybe two neurons a minute. If someone jumped out to scare me, I wouldn't have yelled and fallen out of my chair until a good two minutes afterward. Which would serve them right, because I bet that would scare them.

I think I blew myself out with yesterday's rage over sitting in an observation chair for nine hours. Rage might be a strong word, since mine is mainly cartoonish. I rarely get actually "ugly angry" except for when my sports teams are losing at their games of sports they are playing. But either way, it was a stupid way for me to expend my energy. Self-pity and/or self-righteousness (they are strikingly similar) make you both unhappy and ineffective. People should at least choose one or the other of those to be.

Finally, I watched "Private Practice" with Lizzy for the first time last night. In case you've never seen it, just imagine this line being said in a hundred different ways for an hour and you won't have missed a thing: "Don't you understand? I'm a doctor. I save people...(looks down at his hands pensively)...but I can't save her. But it's my job. I am a doctor. (takes off white coat)...But I'm a person, too. And a doctor." There, now you're all caught up.

Awana

2009-10-01T17:50:00.000-05:00

On Wednesday nights I volunteer helping out with something called Awana at my church. It's sort of like youth group for little kids. It makes me feel nostalgic because I myself used to attend Awana as a youth. Every Wednesday night I would say to my neighborhood friend(s), "Can't play tonight, I have to go to Awana." Then they would say, "What? You're going to marijuana?!" and laugh really hard. I would laugh too although I had no idea what they were talking about. I was home-schooled.

I help out with a group called the Cubbies. They range in age from 3 to 5. The name fits well because they are all cute as buttons. They come into the Cubby class to hear a story, play games and receive stickers for Bible verses they've memorized. Also, as of tonight they participate in a pretty lengthy name calling session (to me exclusively). I think I was berated as a "giggle belly," a "baseball hitter," and an "elephant." I try to pretend that last one was directed toward my lengthy eyelashes and not my girth.

My favorite part of the whole evening is when kids who haven't memorized their verse try to "wing it." I say, "Do you know your Bible verse?" Then they just stare. Then I say, "It's Genesis 1:1.... it starts with 'God created'...." This is when I see the light bulb go off in their head and they say, "God created toys and spiderman and my mom and dad...." I think that still deserves a sticker but I stick to the curriculum.

Spending time with these little ones has really made me thankful that we are getting our parenting feet wet with a little boy. Both Joel and I have grown up with brothers so we both feel more confident about raising a male human. I generally find that little boys are quite rambunctious while little girls tend to wear their emotions on their sleeves. I still haven't figured out how a child can go from happy in one moment to hysterically crying within the blink of an eye. I usually don't know what to do so I pretend I hear my name being called. "What?" I say. "Yeah, I'll be right there.....*to crying four-year-old* sorry, I've gotta go...someone needs me on the other side of the room." Usually a couple seconds later she returns to her euphoric little girl state so I don't feel too terrible about abandoning her during her crisis. As I am reading this, I realize I wont be writing a parenting book anytime soon.

I was not in the saddle

2009-10-01T17:30:00.002-05:00

Just as an update, today was not what I thought it would be. It was a giant pile of what Ava was singing about (but not nearly as cheerful). I sat on a stool and was the official eye dropper holder for nine hours. I worked with a big shot surgeon today. I thought he would know I was ready to bring it Florida-style in the operating room. I forgot the first rule of medical training: "No one cares about your laurels, bozo. Old doctors can make you do whatever they want." So he said, "Today, I will do all the surgeries, and then you can do all the paperwork in between the cases, and also the dictations after each case." Then I said, "Hahaha!" And then he just looked at me and I realized he was serious. Then I told him he looked like Millard Fillmore and not in a good way.

You might be thinking, "I bet that bothers you a lot because you're such a big deal." And I'd like to tell you that humility is a wonderful gift if we learn to cultivate it and that I realized today that it is fulfilling to just help in even menial ways if it is for a worthy goal. I'd like to say those things, but Lizzy or Josh might write a blog and tell you all the things I really said on the phone on the way home. I used crazy, made up words that I haven't yelled since the last time I changed a tire. It was a terrible day. There have been hundreds of days like this since I started college. Going through the steps to open your own clinic is not like climbing a ladder as much as it is like standing on the bottom rung for 13 years and learning more and more, and then blinking and ending up at the top when it is done. I get to blink in nine months.

Back in the saddle

2009-10-01T05:49:00.003-05:00

Tampa General

That was me a year ago at Tampa General. Today is my first day of cataract surgery since I moved to Kansas. I've been doing only LASIK at the Durrie Vision office until now. I don't know exactly how to get to the hospital, where the OR is once I get there, where my first patient is, or how to log in to the computer system once I find my first patient. I have worn the same "Durrie Vision outfit" every day to work for the last three months, which is a striped shirt that says Durrie Vision with black pants and shoes, so it is my first time wearing a tie in three months as well. Somehow, my neck grew since I started working out up here, so I can't even approximate buttoning my collar. For the first time since I was 14, my neck is bigger than 12 inches. Or maybe this shirt shrunk.

But it will all be alright once I get into the operating room. I know that place. It makes me happy. It is peaceful and calm there. I feel God's pleasure in the OR. Pray for the cataract surgery patients today if you think of it, I'll be doing the same thing.

tedium

2009-09-30T07:04:00.004-05:00

A little piece of my latest excel data entry session.

The annual meeting for the American Academy of Ophthalmology is coming up in a month. Every year, around 15,000 ophthalmologist from all over the world descend on a city to learn from the luminaries in the field and to show that same city how to really party. You can't swing a stick without hitting a man in a tweed coat telling a hilarious story about his latest antics involving ocular coherence tomography interpretation. "So I said...what of it? Why don't we just reverse the polarity if she can't keep her forehead against the headrest!!!" (huge guffaws from all around)

The AAO meeting has different meaning for me this year. Dr. Durrie (the man I moved here to work with) is one of those luminaries that people are coming to hear. It means that for six days, he will not stop giving presentations, holding meetings, or presiding over board meetings. It also means that for the last few weeks, I have been filling in excel spreadsheets, creating power point presentations, and coordinating with meeting, well, coordinators. It is hundreds of hours of work. It is tedious to the extreme. But it is part of the process.

I've got to take a moment to sit back and enjoy the fact that I get the privilege of creating power points and compiling analyses that people are flying half way around the world to see. I was one of those people two years ago. It is really easy for me to get downcast when I'm not actively in surgery or with patients in clinic, but this is all part of the process. There is a lot of tedium on the way to doing great things. Everyone I've ever talked to that did anything worthwhile says the same thing. And I bet they all thought their work was pretty uninspiring at the time, too.

Trying to get up early like Pop does

2009-09-28T05:05:00.007-05:00

This is me this early. It is not attractive.

Up at 5 a.m. this morning. I've made at least a dozen tries to get in the habit of getting up at 5 in order to make the day a little longer, and to get a little more done. That means that I've failed to make it a habit that many times. Mark Twain used to say that giving up smoking was the easiest thing in the world, and he knew it because he'd done it thousands of times. That's how I am with deciding that I will start getting up at 5.

I've spent the majority of my adult life trying to improve my self discipline by emulating my father in different ways. I don't know if I can remember a time that I ever woke up before Pop when I was growing up. Even morning when I would get up at 4:30 for a fishing trip, Pop was already making coffee, or was upstairs spending quiet time with God. It has been inspiring to watch him my whole life. Almost all the pressure I feel to do great things is from watching him live a life of discipline and realized potential, and not from him saying it directly.

I think I'm really serious when I wake up this early in the morning. I guess morning is a somber time for me. I'll end by saying this weekend was fun. Went to a Royals game, post op clinic Saturday morning, zoo Saturday afternoon, Blues festival on Saturday night. We saw the Blind Boys of Alabama sing. Lizzy got their signatures on a CD afterward.

Growing Out (and up)

2009-09-26T14:42:00.007-05:00

This is what I look like now

I realize that our profile picture is a bit deceiving. I am no longer shaped like I was in that photograph. I have evolved into some sort of more geometric figure with the semblance of legs and arms. We are now 18 days away from young Luke Hunter's arrival and I have been becoming increasingly anxious about parenthood. It is a very sobering thought to know that in a matter of weeks, we will be solely responsible for a human life outside of our own.

At one time I had found solace in the fact that I have kept our dog alive for seven years but I hear that babies are very different from canines. For one, they have thumbs. And there are a couple more that I can think of but won't bore you with. My confidence however is waning after yesterday I forgot to feed our dog completely. She is still alive though so that's good. And I have heard that babies are more vocal about being hungry. That is another difference from our dog who just stares at us which, in my defense, could mean many things.

As under prepared as I feel, I'm so excited to meet this young man who has been simmering away for the past 8.75 months. Right now it is hard to imagine what it will be like to see him face to face. I think he will be very handsome and burly. I also think that he will be very good at math. He will be born knowing formulas like 4/3 (pi)(r) cubed. Ironically, that is also the formula to find the volume of my current body type.

I am so thankful for this little one that God has given us. And I am equally thankful for a husband that will be an amazing father and will probably leave "Don't forget to feed the Luke" notes around the house to help me. I am so blessed to get to join him on this roller coaster called parenthood whether or not I feel like I meet the height requirement. Those are rough estimations anyway.

Baseball

2009-09-26T06:48:00.005-05:00

3rd inning.

Lizzy and I went to a baseball game last night. The Kansas City Royals were playing the Minnesota Twins. It was my first professional baseball game and it was a great time. I realized once again that I lack some sort of natural sports competition drive that most men have. People behind us started singing that "here we go, (name of batter), here we go!" for one guy and then the guy in front of us starting yelling "strike out!" whenever there was a beat pause in their chant. I looked at Lizzy and said, "I'm uncomfortable." But apparently I have a low threshold for conflict because I was the only one who thought it would escalate, and I'm glad because we were right in between them and I'm pretty sure it would have ended with beer getting dumped on us.

We had to leave a little early because I have Saturday clinic this morning. I just looked up the score and the Twins won. Probably an advantage with twins always knowing what the other one is thinking without having to say anything. That is a special bond.

If blogs were logs, I'd be a blumber jack.

2009-09-25T12:17:00.003-05:00

With almost all the people I care about now blogging, I was inspired to get back into the swing of things and fire up the old blog again. It took me five minutes to remember our (our being Lizzy and me) account name and password. Then I spent 15 minutes trying to change our settings so that our blog would look attractive (I feel like Gollum saying "our" so much). The only theme that it uses is "old man learning to use a computer black font on white background theme." Then I tried to create links to other people's blogs, but couldn't figure out how to do it. Then I realized it didn't matter because the web address for our blog doesn't work anymore. And all this for the low price of $8.95 per month. So I looked at what Josh is using for his blog and joined it. Lizzy and I are blogspot people now, I just have to let her know that our new thing is that we really hate typepad.

The point of all this is that with Luke here in 19 days, and a free 30 minutes at lunch, it seemed like starting a new blog with Lizzy would be the right thing to do. I've got to get back to work. And later I have to tell Lizzy that we have a new blog and that we hate typepad.com now.

State Fair

2009-02-17T18:16:00.001-06:00

Our efforts to continue with the regular postings have been frought with difficulties, most recently by finding out that frought is not actually a real word. Besides that, we've had a lot of trouble keeping up because Lizzy will say, "let's write a blog!" and then I'll say, "maybe we should wait until tomorrow." I am a procrastinator, which is actually a Latin word that means "muscle man."

Lizzy and I went to the state fair last Monday. She has been asking me to go with her for three years now, but I always found a way out by saying I was busy our pretending to have a heart attack or throwing down a smoke bomb and disappearing. But by now, it was time to pay the piper (or more accurately, the surly bearded man in the Budweiser hat) and take her.

It is really hard to write about the fair because unless you are a really good writer, a good story depends a fair amount on exaggeration and it is very hard to exaggerate the fair. What can I say? "They fry Oreos, Snickers, and Pepsi!" But they actually do. "I was worried for my life because a man that I wouldn't let wash my 1998 Nissan Sentra was in charge of catapulting my wife and me 100 yards into the air on a giant rubberband!" But this is true as well. So I will just recount my three highlights.

First, Lizzy paid a dollar to see something hidden behind a curtain that had a sign that said, " See the Strange Thing. What is it? Soooo freaky! Beware! It will really make you think." It was Joey Fatone. Second, I ate the best corn dog I have ever eaten. If the man selling it had told me that the price was one year of my life (which is possibly also true), I think I still would have eaten it. Lastly, we got to feed oats to a bunch of goats and sheep and a buffalo. Although we might have contracted brucellosis (ha!) that might have been my favorite part of the evening. It is possible that I would have really enjoyed being a farmer. But only the part where you feed oats to animals once in a while, and I think there is more stuff to do than that. Like holding pieces of straw between your teeth.

I'm sure by this point everyone is wondering what the "Strange Thing" that "really made me think" was. I'm sure I wont be able to do it justice in my description but basically it was a creepy doll with a fish tank turned upside down over it. I don't think it was supposed to be a doll though. I think it was supposed to be some sort of shriveled human with a mermaid tail. I assume the fish tank was necessary to prevent people from touching it with their deep fried Twinky grease covered fingers. Relics depreciate rapidly with grease spots on them. The following is my conversation with the Strange Thing attendant.

Me: (holding out dollar)Hi. May I see your strange thing?

Keeper of the Strange Thing (KST): (Takes Dollar)Sure. (Leads me behind divider and reveals creepy doll in fish tank) This here washed up on shore in the 1940s. They think it was a result of some kind of nuclear testing on humans. It has a tail like a mermaid. Another one washed up after the tsunami. You can google it and see a picture. Just type in "tsunami mermaid." My girlfriend...she just left to go get something to eat...her grandfather found it.

Me: Alright.

(Awkward Pause)

Me: Thank you for letting me see your strange thing.

KST: Thank you for your dollar.

EXUENT

Joel and I had a wonderful time at the fair. We pet a few kids (that's what baby goats are called), ate a few foods on sticks and rode a few rides. Joel was kind to do this. He doesn't like rides that are held together by duct tape as much as I do.

At one point I payed a dollar to see, "The Smallest Horse You Will Ever See." Apparently it is "So Small You Can Hold It." This investment was a big disappointment. A better title would have been, "The Most Overweight Shetland Pony We Could Fit In This Smallish Cage."

Joel and I played a some games and actually did fairly well. We won a stuffed bear (not a real one), a stuffed dog (real) (no, I'm just kidding) and a framed picture of Barack Obama. I'm a bit disappointed in the quality of the dog. It's stuffed with styrofoam packing peanuts and smells like that stuff you use to clean your hands after fixing a car engine. Definitely not worth the $15 we spent on it.

To end our fun-filled night we rode something called the "Space Roller." It looked really fun because of its fancy lights and rock 'n' roll music. Mostly it just nauseated and disoriented everyone who rode it. When the ride ended, everyone staggered off the same way you are supposed to run away from an alligator. Some bent over and put their head in between their knees. Some parked on a bench and waited for the world to stop spinning. Some walked to their cars and rode home with their seat all the way back, trying not to repeat that bite of fried snickers they had that their mom would never have let them eat but she wasn't there to stop her! That was me. I did that. When I got home I threw up. Twice.

THE END

Couple's Blog

2009-01-30T16:16:00.005-06:00

I am sitting here next to Lizzy and she said, "we should write a blog together right now!" And then I said, "okay." And then she handed me the computer. But I don't really know what I am supposed to write about. If it is possible to have an awkward pause at the beginning of a written page, that is what I am trying to convey. I am looking at my shoes and kicking my feet together in the dirt right now. Lizzy just said, "we could write about our dog." So I will put down some thoughts about her (the dog, not Lizzy).

I inherited our dog when I married Lizzy. Inherited might be the wrong word since it conveys that I got some kind of family heirlooms in the form of Whistler paintings or Intel stocks. Roxie is not like that at all. She is a dog that looks like a very tall and hairy legged serpent. She looks like a wiener dog with 36 inch legs and a perfectly triangular head because of very large bat-like ears. A profile portrait of her would look the exact same whether she was wearing a Revolutionary era tri-cornered hat or not. Also, she has gas that smells like she cooks eggs for herself and eats them while we are sleeping.

As you can see, Joel really loves our dog. I have to admit that his description of her, however unflattering, is quite accurate. If you can imagine what a dog who has lived in a junk yard for six years looks like, you are imagining a spitting image of Roxie. Only her head is smaller....no, smaller still....are you picturing a continuation of a neck that comes to a point with nostrils on the end? Great, then that is exactly what she looks like.

Despite her aesthetic shortcomings, she really is a good animal. She sits when I say, "sit." She shakes when I say either, "shake," or "nice to meet you" (I thought that would be clever trick to teach her for when she first meets people. I realize now that very few people say "nice to meet you" when meeting a dog. Or probably any other four legged animal. They might say it to a monkey. I would. Especially if it was a monkey wearing clothes and one of those shriner hats.) I'm working on trying to teach her to not run away when she's outside but chances of that are slim. As Joel always says, "You can take the animal out of the wild but you can't take the wild out of the animal." He actually doesn't say that. He's clearly funnier than me so I thought I would throw a super lame joke in there and say he said it to even up the playing field.

It is true that our dog runs away as often as possible. One time she jumped out of my car in a crowded Publix parking lot and ran laps around the perimeter. I didn't know how to get her back so I just kept yelling, "Roxie, wanna go for a ride in the car?!?!," in a really high pitched panicky voice. Obviously she didn't want to go for a ride in the car. She had shown me that by jumping out of the car. This isn't a very good story. I know because Joel read it and said, "That's funny," without actually laughing. Not a good sign. I might pass the computer over to him now....

Our dog looks like a stray no matter how much we bathe her. She looks like a dog that you might see wander by in the background of one of those commercials for Christian Children's Fund. The End.

But not really because I want to tell one more joke!

A horse walks into a bar. The Bartender says, "Why the long face?!" Get it?! Because horses have long faces. And long face also means that you're sad. (Lizzy wrote those last parts. -Joel)

Brothers

2009-01-28T21:29:00.006-06:00

Joel and I started this blog together but today I realized that I have neglected my duties as co-blog-author. Three posts have been posted by Joel post my last post which tells me it's my turn. Post.

In the spirit of family, I feel inclined to also write about my brothers. Joel wrote one blog per brother but I think I will include all brothers in one blog to avoid committing to writing a trilogy. Is that really how you spell trilogy? It looks strange. Well, it's not underlined in red, so I'm keeping it.

This blog is not very good so far but I promise, what it lacks in entertainment value and grammatical correctness will be made up ten fold in word count and unnecessary comma usage. Oh and Presidential analogies. I really liked when Joel compared Josh to George Washington. Did you know in his youth, Josh Hunter chopped down his father's cherry tree with a hatchet?!

Unlike Joel, I am in the middle, upper echelon of my siblings. I have an older brother, Daniel, and two younger brothers, Joshua and Timothy (he goes by either Tim or Timothy James). As any good family counselor will tell you, Higher Birth Order = Power. Power = Best Seat By the TV and Best Seat By the TV = Near Sightedness, or at least that's what my grandma always told me. Is that right Honey?

From what I recall, growing up in the Ariza house was very similar to growing up on a battlefield. A battlefield where none of the soldiers had weapons. And there were only four soldiers, all of whom were home schooled. And the soldiers fought a lot over the Nintendo Entertainment System. And the soldiers didn't have uniforms. The boys wore Jamz and the girl wore her Y-Ball uniform almost every day. I don't know why.

I'm switching to a new analogy.

Daniel, or Old Honest Daniel as I've often referred to him, was the Abe Lincoln of our family due to both his skills with rail splitting and the most impressive facial hair growing abilities of my brothers. He doesn't care much for the theatre arts but I believe that will aid in his longevity. Daniel and I had a mutual disdain for each other growing up. He started it though. The only time I actually remember us being allies is once when our parents left us home alone and we watched Predator together. I think the dreadlocks on those monsters make them far less scary. Daniel taught me the ropes when it came to bullying younger siblings. One of the most vivid conversations I remember having with Daniel on an almost daily basis was:

(Daniel walks up to me sitting on the seat on the couch closest to the TV. It also reclined which is a key detail in understanding its value.)

Daniel: Get out of my seat or I will beat you up.

Me: Okay, but I hate you.

For some reason I never thought about how unlikely it would be that Daniel would actually "beat me up," but maybe that's because I knew how honest Daniel actually was. Like Abraham Lincoln. Honest Abe Lincoln.

Josh, or Thomas Jefferson as we call him sometimes in blogs, was third in line and always had a girlfriend. Also, he was a staunch Democratic-Republican. I wasn't a very good older sister to have. I mostly would do things like give you hair cuts when you didn't need them and try to dress you up like a girl while you were still young and impressionable. When Josh was just a wee boy, maybe 5 or so, I put him in a tire swing and spun him so fast that all the blood vessels around his eyes burst and he had two shiners. True story.

Now Tim, the youngest of us, was a sweet kid. I was able to convince him to play Barbie Ice Cream Shop with me for a good couple of months until the other brothers let him know how uncool that was. They let him in on the Lego and Constructs bin to save him from an education in matching Barbie outfits. I didn't play much with Legos mostly because I "didn't play right." When discussions about my ability to "play right" escalated, I would occasionally release Barbie to level Lego Land. That didn't usually work to my advantage in convincing them to let me play with them.

Oh yeah, I would liken Timothy James to Andrew Jackson. Because they both have untamed luxurious hair.

There came a day in my life when I woke up to find that Daniel, Josh and T.J. had gone from being my arch-nemeses to being three of my dearest friends. I'm honestly surprised that they even speak to me at all after knowing me as a youth. This blog is only the tip of the iceberg of the horribleness that was Lizzy ages 8-15ish.

Daniel is now and an extremely talented web designer (www.biggunsdesign.com) who just finished designing Summit's new website. Daniel, I'm sorry for destroying your mixed tape in 1991. My brother Josh, also an artist (www.cognopolitan.com), does apparel design for Billabong in California. Josh, sorry for the whole tire swing/black eyes thing. Teej, my youngest brother (www.kidwholooksalotlikeorlandobloomandluckyforyouladieshessingle.com), of whom I am super proud, is studying psychology at Palm Beach Atlantic University. Tim, I'm sorry for that time I was baby sitting you and dressed up like a dead person to try to scare you. That was very insensitive of me

Josh's Brother

2009-01-16T19:49:00.002-06:00

Since I wrote a blog about being Isaac's brother, I thought it would make good sense to go ahead and write a blog about each of my brothers. Since I only have one left, this will be my final blog in this category. It has been a good run.

Until about late high school, I had a similar relationship with Josh to the one that I have with George Washington now. He was a remote figure that I revered and learned from, but was as approachable as the man on the moon (Joseph Ellis' words, not mine) and also he told me he had wooden teeth. Years later, I found out he was just kidding. Since he was six years older and hit puberty when he was in 4th grade, Josh was an unapproachable figure when I was in elementary school. I still remember vividly how elated I was the time that he called me "buddy" and asked how I was doing. It was like getting a call from the president. The first president. George Washington. But perhaps I am overdoing this analogy.

The three Hunter brothers have always a had a strict unspoken order of operations that I like to call the heirarchy of the brotherhood. Decisions always flowed from the top down when we were young. When Isaac decided to hold me down and dangle a loogie over my face, Josh could decide to tackle Isaac and grab his forearms to swing them at his own head and then say, "why are you hitting yourself, why are you hitting yourself?" When Josh started listening to Def Leppard, we all wanted to listen to them. When Josh dyed a streak of blonde into his trademark "poo" haircut, we thought it was the greatest advance in fashion that Altamonte Springs had ever seen. And when he chose to go to Taylor University, Isaac and I applied only to that college. Of course, I disliked Taylor so much that that decision now seems worse than dying your poo blonde.

It was during my breaks home from college that I first began to spend time with Josh as a peer, rather than as his much younger brother. He and Isaac and I spent hours together on Isaac's porch talking about where we were at ("we're on the porch," we'd say) and our plans for the future. When I think about "the good old days," those are the days that I think of. It was during that time that our bond by blood became our closest friendship. I recommended we get "B.F.F." tattoos. They said no.

Shortly after the time that Isaac was responding to God's call to start Summit, I felt like I was supposed to start a clinic in Orlando after my medical training. It seemed really far off then because medical training takes about the same amount of time as growing a floor-lengthed beard. But I talked it over with Josh and Isaac and they were encouraging about it. I will never forget when I was driving to Big John's a few days later and I got a call from Josh. "I've prayed about it and I feel like I am supposed to help you build this clinic," he said. It was like hearing Superman was going to help you move. At the time, Josh was the director of operations at Northland and heading up a multi-million dollar construction project. We agreed that we would start the clinic together and that was the start of Hunter Vision.

In the year's that have passed since then, I've talked with Josh on the phone nearly every day and met with him for a Hunter Vision meeting nearly every week. We talk about the plans for the clinic, we talk about how much we like hunting (Isaac and I started liking it because he did), we talk about our lives and our plans for the future. And it seems like the time when he was unapproachable was 209 years ago. Now he's just my brother. I can honestly say, however, that from a closer perspective I have come to respect him more than I could from a distance. And that is the mark of character. When you see someone up close without all the rough edges sanded down and they are actually more inspiring instead of less, you've witnessed something exceptional. Like the crossing of the Delaware River.

Isaac's Brother

2009-01-15T20:40:00.002-06:00

Heretofore, this blog was updated an average of about once every two months. But I recently saw that my brother Isaac, the pastor of Summit Church, linked us on his Summit blog. Then I realized more people might be looking at it and I might need to start writing more. And then, sure enough, I looked at our stats page and our readership bumped up the day he linked us and has stayed there since.

I can tell it is from Isaac's readers because in the column where it tells you who the referring page was, it is a nearly unbroken line of "Summit Church blog." There is one referring link exception that stands out in the middle and says "Google search: guy with tall and skinny head blog." It would bother me, but Google must really do their research. I came to realize in college that my head had been destined to only grow vertically and was going to keep the shape of a Tic Tac on end. Until then, I had held out hope that my jaw would grow wider so strangers wouldn't tell me I look like Beaker from the muppets (this is true).

For as long as I can remember I was "Isaac's brother" (he says that he was "Josh's brother" before that) to new people I met; partially because of his perfect head shape, I am sure, but even more because he has always had the charisma of a Winston Churchill, or a Barack Obama. Before we even knew why, people were calling him Winstack Churlama. I won't lie, for a long time I thought being known only in relation to my brother was a burden rather than an asset. One time I remember in particular, a pretty girl at a summer camp Isaac and were at smiled at me and said, "you're Isaac's brother, aren't you?" Unused to a girl starting a conversation with me, I involuntarily swallowed and said, "yerp," or something like that. Then she said coldly, "you don't look anything like him," and walked away. And then a bald eagle landed on my head and started trying to make a nest.

A few years later, after Josh went off to college, a strange thing happened and Isaac started inviting me into his circle of friends. All of a sudden, I was in a circle of people which I was in no way cool enough to hang out with. Everybody had some quality, some niche, they brought to the group, like Isaac's charisma and nickname giving ability, John Parker's absolute fearlessness, Andy's leadership of the youth group band, and so on. It was impossible for me to mistake my own inherent coolness with my new social status. For one, and I swear this is true, I tried to make my distinguishing feature a desire for cleanliness. I refused to join in on beach volleyball and I stayed in the boat when they waded in the water and fished. I often bragged about how much I showered.

But still, this new group of friends stuck by me. And I realize now that it was Isaac that did this for me. I gradually began to think of myself as one of the group and relax a little bit. Isaac gave me a new and improved distinguishing feature of being the brainy guy (a step up from shower guy). Andy let me join the church band and I sang. Big John (Isaac's nickname for him that stuck) chose to be dragged behind a truck with a rope for 100 yards on a dirt road for no other reason than to say he did it. (I wasn't involved in that one; not everything was about me.)

I think our circle of friends is hugely important in who we become. We learn to fit our environment; and we either grow and stretch out in ways we didn't think possible, or shrink to fit into low expectations. With a confidence I would not have otherwise had, I went off to med school and became an eye surgeon (which, though not commonly known, is like the Brad-Pitt-in-Fight-Club of medical specialties). Isaac, John and Andy started Summit Church and I go every week to hear Isaac talk about Jesus and to see those people that are still my closest friends. And when I run into someone that I am meeting for the first time, and they say, "you're Isaac's brother aren't you?" I could not be happier to say that I am.

In sickness and in health...

2008-12-21T00:16:00.002-06:00

It is approaching midnight now, and what a day we've had. It started off average enough; Lizzy getting ready to drive to Orlando for a singing gig and me sitting on the couch watching the news to see if anything big happened overnight. Then when Lizzy was brushing her teeth, right around the time when she usually asks me if I could go down to the car and get her makeup bag (it is always in the car, unless we are in the car, then it is in the house), I heard her scream. It was not a "saw a roach" scream, it was a terrible noise. I ran to the bathroom and found her laying on the floor in between the bathroom and the bedroom writhing in pain with a toothbrush still in her mouth.

You don't realize how much you care about someone until a moment like that. All I could think was that I wished it was me instead of her, that I hated the whole idea of toothbrushing that seemed to have caused this, and worst of all, that I was helpless to help her. It turns out that her back had gone out entirely. It has been threatening to do this for years. It threatens her with a frequency that I would have challenged it to a fight if it was not, in fact, her spine, and it would defeat the purpose of my concern. As she lay there face down, I called an orthopedic surgeon who explained to me what had happened. It was not a herniated disc, one of her vertebrae had slipped off of the one below it at the facet joint. Because I am an idiot, I did the only thing I could to contribute the situation and ran and got her an anatomy textbook to show her where the problem was. Considering the amount of pain she was in, she was very kind about my explanation.

It turns out that the only thing you can do about it in acute situation is take ibuprofen and muscle relaxants. We had neither so I called in a prescription at CVS for the muscle relaxant and picked up both of them. When I showed up at the prescription counter and gave the girl my VISA explaining it was for my wife, she looked at the name and then confusedly at me and said, "You're the doctor, too?" I realized then that I was wearing a T-shirt that looked like I stole it from a homeless person and that my hair looked like Don King's because I'd just woken up. I said yes, and then, looking to excuse me, she said, "You must be a resident." I told her maybe she must be a resident, and then left with the drugs.

I got back and Lizzy was still face down in the bathroom doorway. I gave her some pills and then we laid on the floor together. Six hours later, we were still laying on the floor together. At that point, through 15 minutes of intense effort, and using my back as a ramp to the bed, she was able to get in bed. If she were not light as a feather, I am pretty sure my vertebrae would have been as aligned as the teeth of the homeless man's whose shirt I stole after this maneuver. But she is light as a feather. I then climbed into bed with her and we watched old episodes of The Office until the Northland service came online. Pop is a great preacher. That has nothing to do with this story, but he is.

When 10:00 rolled around, Lizzy was ready to go to bed. The tranquilizers running through her veins finally sedated her enough for her to fall asleep. If not for the grounding effect of horrendous back spasms, they would have been enough allow her hear colors long before that. For the last time of the day, I hooked my arms under her shoulders and pulled her into a more comfortable position. And then she drifted off into oblivion where I am sure she is dreaming of large anatomy book pictures.

And so it was that Lizzy and I spent 12 hours side-by-side on the floor and the bed today. Aside from the agony, I have rarely had a more fulfilling day of marriage than today. Anyone who has been married longer than a week knows how minutiae can crowd out or obscure the vows that you took on your first day as husband and wife. To love and to cherish gets pushed aside by who's turn it is to take out our small-bladdered dog. Honor and obey get hazy when she wants to watch the Food Network and I want to watch Survivorman. But big events cast the small stuff into sharp perspective. When the chips are down, we both fly back to the vows we took and marriage becomes simple again.

Dilation

2008-09-18T13:32:00.002-05:00

Last night Joel, husband/ophthalmologist, offered to refract me and give me a new glasses prescription which was very generous of him considering his usual work consists of removing cataracts and transplanting corneas, much more stimulating than the drudgery of, “Which is clearer, one or two? One or two…” As he explained to me, in order for him to get my true refraction, he had to paralyze my “ciliary muscle” (I didn’t know of its existence until last night) to prevent it from accommodating. I have an eye issue that I could bore you with by explaining, or at least by pretending to explain by using words I’ve heard Joel say such as, but not limited to, accommodation, hyperopia, spherical aberration, eye. In the end you’d still realize that I don’t really know what I’m talking about and I’d still be a latent hyperop!

So last night Joel had to put some dilating drops in my eyes. Before allowing this I of course asked the customary, “Will they hurt?” He just smiled really big, hesitated a moment and said, “Um, no, they hurt much less than the other dilating drops.” I think by “other dilating drops,” he meant, “red-hot iron poker.” The burning ensued. I had a good cry. Joel used a numbing drop before the next round of dilating drops. I was appreciative. I realize now why Joel thinks the ol’ putting-dilating-drops-in-someone’s-contact-solution-practical-joke is less funny than I do. It’s more of a mean joke than a practical one. I’d say it’s not very practical at all, wasting dilating drops, contact solution and a perfectly good friend all to celebrate the first day of April. So in the end, Joel had me seeing 20/20 which I had never experienced before. Usually I just cover my right eye to read books and squint to see people’s faces. It was an exhilarating experience for which I am most grateful.

10 HOURS LATER….

This morning, as is my custom in planning my day, I took a look at the old Mac weather widget to see what the temperature outside might be. To my delight it said it was 75 degrees outside in Tampa. That’s Fahrenheit. If it had been Celsius I’d worry I’d died in my sleep! *Bud-ump ching (punch-line drum sound)* But seriously folks, I was shocked to see the extreme drop in temperature from the side-ways eight degrees it was yesterday! Get it? Side-ways eight? Infinity?! I’ll be here all week.

I started planning my activities for the day: 1. Not sweat a lot, 2. Wear a shirt with sleeves, 3. Maybe walk to get the mail instead of drive… and the list went on. I decided to take Roxie (our dog) outside and experience the pleasant weather first-hand.

I leashed up the dog, walked out the door, traveled down two flights of stairs, sped up slightly when passing the apartment of neighbors who may or may not exchange “goods” for money between the hours of 12am and 4am, crossed the threshold of where apartment breezeway ends and sunshine begins and…..

Burning! Tears pouring from my eyes! I was staring down at the grass with my hands over my eyes but felt like I was staring directly into the sun while standing only inches from it. Why is everything so bright?! I frantically yelled “Potty Roxie! Potty!” to get her to finish her out-door business before blindness ensued and I was forced then to use her as a seeing-eye dog which would mean a lifetime of walking into coffee tables and the corners of doorways but honestly, it’s all we can really afford!!!

I crawled back up the stairs and into our apartment, turned out all the lights and am now waiting for night to fall. All I can really infer from that experience is that my eyes are still at least slightly dilated and hopefully my sudden aversion to garlic is merely coincidental. Also, that Mac widget is terribly inaccurate for it must have been at least 85 degrees outside.

As I spend the next couple of hours sympathizing with moles, the animals, which I just learned aren’t cute at all by seeing my first non-cartoon picture of one online, I’ll be thinking of what a wonderful gift sight is and feeling lucky that I am married to someone who can provide that which I’ve always been want of. I am very excited to see clearly. Perhaps I’ll pick up that book that’s been sitting on my nightstand. Perhaps I’ll understand why Joel always calls our dog, “homely.” Perhaps I’ll be able to notice those “No U-turn” signs that always seem to get put up immediately after I’ve made a U-turn. Perhaps I’ll figure out how to end this blog.

Exercise

2008-07-24T11:18:00.004-05:00

Today I went to our neighborhood YMCA, our Tampa YMCA, much different than the Orlando YMCAs to which I've become accustomed. Orlando YMCAs are brimming with personal flat screens on treadmills and clean pressed towels and of course lots of 40 somethings in color coordinated spandex. That is a status symbol I've come to realize. I was still wearing my finest jade and pearls to establish my upper working class status. I wish I had been educated on the matter before I lost my great grandmother's broach on an elliptical machine.

I just got home from work and found the start of this blog when I opened the computer. I know where she is going with this. At the start of the second paragraph she is going to start talking about how the Tampa YMCA has machines from the 1930's and free weights in large, iron, 3D trapezoid form with handles on the top and marked in white print "100 lbs." She might say how she would expect to see barrel-chested men with handlebar mustaches and white and black horizontally striped singlets lifting the weights up and down over their heads.

Until about a year ago, I would have said all of this was only her own prejudice against the Tampa Y - and baseless. But that was before I saw one of the Y's in Orlando to which she was accustomed. Coming from the Tampa ghettos, I walked into the Dr. Phillip's YMCA and expected to think her descriptions were overblown. But then an employee walked up to me and handed me a steamed towel and said, "I say, dear sir, God's blessings on you in hopes of a capital workout." Then I walked around and worked out on (and this was amazing to me) machines that had upholstery not held together by duct tape. And all the dumbells came in sets of two. Previously, I'd just used weights that were within 10 pounds of each other and switched arms on different sets. It is an amazing place. And I can say that all of prejudice towards my YMCA was well-founded.

Okay, that's my two cents. I'll let her finish her blog now when she opens the computer again.

I'm glad he interrupted there. I was actually losing my train of though. The only thing I would say is it's no longer "your YMCA" and "my YMCA" it's our YMCA. Our YMCA, where the temperature is always a little too warm to be indoors and clean pressed towels are replaced with paper towels from dispensers similar to those found in public restrooms.

During my workout experience (generally 3 weeks on, 2 months off) I have become much more well acquainted with weight machines than with free weights. I've always found them more convenient. They require less "know-how" as there is only one exercise that can be done per machine and they prevent me from having to go over to the "free weight area" where college-age males stand in front of mirrors and lift up their shirts to see if those sit-ups they did minutes prior have kicked in yet. I don't know why lifting your shirt up in the gym is an acceptable practice. It's like all social etiquette is thrown out of the window. Nobody ever says anything like, "That makes me uncomfortable," but I guess if spandex is socially acceptable, most practices are.

I've had to denounce my devotion to weight machines here in Tampa as they are not up-kept. I always find as I use them that one leg is higher than the other or one arm extends further than the other, or I find myself playing a rousing game of "find that smell" on the leg extension machine. "Is it me? Is it that guy? Oh, no, it's just the handle grips that lots of people touch. Phew. That's a relief." Once I realized my left leg was becoming far superior in strength to my right I figure I should switch to something more unvarying. Free weights. It was time to rub elbows with frat boys and high school seniors hoping to replace acne with biceps before college.

Joel was nice enough to coach me on some exercises that worked certain muscle groups because he knew if I ventured into this new chapter in my exercising chronicles alone, I would do something like drastically increase my neck girth while doing an exercise that I think works my obliques. There is always an added strain to any relationship when the husband begins coaching the wife in her workouts. With every additional helpful exercise he taught me, my brain would go further into "he thinks I'm fat" land. He'd say things like "this is another really great butt exercise," and I'd say things like "So, two exercises aren't enough?" And, he'd say, "Well, no that's enough, but, well I thought I'd just teach you all of the ones I know," and I'd say "Why do you think I need to know all the ones you know?"

"I just thought I'd teach you all of them so you can do them on your own."
"Do you wish I was thinner?"
"No, you are very thin. Too thin."
"No, I want you to tell me the truth. (I don't actually, I just want his lies to sound very truthful.) Do you think I've gained weight?"
"No, of course not." Silence. "Do you just maybe want to go do the weight machines?"
"No, this is good. I just wish you didn't think I was fat. That's all..."

It continued on like that for a couple minutes until I realized there was no winning for either of us through this line of questioning. Entrapment does not a happy husband make. I think maybe I was hoping the conversation to end with him saying, "You're super skinny. Let's blow this popsicle stand and get a McFlurry." I wish most conversations ended that way.

As time passes since my first experience with our Tampa YMCA, I wish I could say it's growing on me. I tell myself it's a great place until I get there and remember that instead of air conditioning, they just have a giant who lifts up the corner of the roof and breaths very open mouthed into the facility. As I continue to push myself to go, (one to two days every other week or so) there are two things in which I find solace. One, I have definitely observed that instead of spending money on attaching televisions to Stair Masters they are using their means to pour into the community which is a beautiful thing to see. Two, I am married to a man who can treat staph if ever necessary.

Married Life

2008-07-16T20:32:00.003-05:00

It is 7:30 in the Hunter house and Lizzy in our music room practicing arias. It was just a second bedroom that I thought should become our den with some animal heads on the wall and maybe a battered leather sitting chair. But then we bought an electric piano and Lizzy started her nightly practice. Now it is a music room. I would say, proportionately speaking, it is more of an opera room than anything else. We should have bought a harpsichord instead of a piano. An 18th century European man with a powdered wig and white stockings would feel very comfortable at our house in the evenings. To be fair though, we do have a few animal mounts in the porch closet and I am allowed to go look at them at my leisure.

On the whole, we have adjusted to married life very well. We've finally entered into a little bit of an established routine, which I think classifies our existence now officially as "married life." For the first several months we were newlyweds and still classified as "one person joined by God and constantly mystified by any objection to the other's previous habits." There were the kinks to be worked out over toilet seats, weekend trips, loud snoring (my soft palette is as unyielding as Neville Chamberlain), coffee strength, and dog rearing. But any good journey has obstacles to overcome. And we are far enough in now that I'm able to see that's where a lot of the fun is. Without learning the compromises of marriage, I might never have invented my toilet seat compromise device, which elevates the seat to exactly 45 degrees at all times.

And now we are enjoying the fruits of a smooth functioning married life. My friends and her friends have now become simply our friends. When I have a bad day at work, she is cheery for me and when she can't master an especially challenging musical piece, I will sing it for her to show her how gifted she is. As I meet the doctors that I will work with in a refractive surgery fellowship, she (thanks to years talking with opera donators) is inevitably well-acquainted with their hobbies of opera, European travel, vineyards, dressage, and monocle wearing. Together we are more than the sum of our parts.

She's done singing now. We're going to watch Jeopardy.

Of Keys and Cars

2008-07-12T18:08:00.002-05:00

Anybody who knows me well, knows of my terrible luck with automobiles. Come to think of it, I have terrible luck with birds as well. Blue jays, not as friendly as they look. And Mr. Blue bird on my shoulder would never be "satisfactch'll." He would be there to hurt me because birds are very angry creatures with small brains and creepy stares. If you've every been walking across a busy street in broad daylight and had a bird sweep down from his domicile to attack your naturally curly hair, you'd be with me on this.

So driving... I've definitely had my share of accidents. And when I'm in an accident, I'm never rear-ended by an apologetic driver with the courtesy to say, "Are you okay?" or "I'm so sorry." I'm always hit by a person I've completely inconvenienced by the fact that my car was at a dead stop in I-4 traffic or in a, lets say, Target parking lot. The person who hits me say's things like, "So how long's this gonna take?" or "I don't have time for this. I have to pick up my kid." Word of advice: Never trust a person driving with a compact disc flag hanging from their rear-view mirror. Ever. I don't care if it's a Brazilian flag, a German flag, or even an American flag. If you are hit by an automobile sporting one of these, get every bit of information you can. Even draw a sketch of the person who hit you. If you aren't good at drawing, take a mental photograph or even one with your cell phone. Which ever is more convenient. This person will surely yell at you a lot for making them pull over after hitting you then try to flee the scene to pick up their child at "daycare."

I could go on all day with stories of my misadventures in driving. What I've noticed as of late is that my car luck has somehow spread to my husband. Apparently my virulent strain of driving misfortune is highly contagious. I try to wash my hands often, but ten months of living together has turned our apartment into driving malady petri-dish. It started off as an innocent loss of keys. Joel's keys went first. To this day he swears I threw them away to which, I say: Yes, I probably did. He did have an extra set which was helpful but those were lost about three weeks ago. We had a spare key made but unfortunately the manufacturers of Hyundai decided that having a key alone isn't sufficient enough to prove you are not in fact stealing the car. You also need the remote. The very expensive Hyundai remote. If you unlock the door with the key and open the door, the alarm goes off. Then, if you insert the key into the ignition you cannot turn it until the alarm goes off for two minutes. That is how long it takes for the car to be convinced you are not a thief. You can then turn the key to start the engine. Apparently if you are willing to sit through two minutes of very high-pitched, high-decibel sirens, you must have innocent intentions. I say cars have faulty logic. To avoid all the rigmarole, and keep peace with our neighbors, Joel simply leaves his car unlocked. We would be worried about it being stolen but there isn't much in that car to invite a thief. He doesn't own woofers, as the young kids call them although I suppose a robber greedy for eye drops and empty soda bottles might very well hit the jackpot with Joel's car.

Two weeks ago, Joel graduated from simply losing keys to the inevitable, getting rear-ended on the highway. Of course despite his innocence in the accident, he still managed to receive a ticket for not having proof of insurance in his car. Police officers in our county don't mess around. They also don't want people to like them very much as I've learned.

So Joel's car is totaled and we are now on the hunt for a replacement automobile. To me there isn't much more nerve racking than shopping for cars. Let's just hope we don't get a lemon. Or a tangelo for that matter. I don't really care for citrus. Except grapefruit, I like those very much. To look on the bright side, it could be worse. We could be shopping for a parakeet or weaver-bird or some other winged creature. For in the wise words of Gilbert K. Chesterton:

“A turkey is more occult and awful than all the angels and archangels.”

Welcome!

2008-07-07T18:58:00.008-05:00

We've been married for over 10 months now (Lizzy and I, not you and I). To give you an idea of how long that is, if I was bald on our wedding day, my hair would now be over five inches long! In that time we've gone through a honeymoon phase, scrabble phase, ordering out phase, working out phase, metaphase, and prophase. Mitosis jokes! It's going to be a good year.

It was Lizzy who said to me the other night, "Handsome hero king," (she always calls me that) "why don't we start a blog?" And I did what all married guys do and said, "Yeah! That sounds great!" before I thought about it for even a femtosecond. But now that I've had time to think about it, I've gone from not sure about it to thinking it is a great idea. It is a marriage builder, and it is perfect for us, since we hate ropes courses.

So far we've only had one and a half fights over our new blog and none of them ended in a duel. I wanted to start a married blog so that I could take credit for Joel's science jokes. He insisted on labeling each blurb with "Joel:" or "Lizzy:" (see above) so I will have to think of my own. What did one Bunsen burner say to the other Bunsen burner?.............I've got nothing. Joel would surely have had a punch line for that. (Joel: "I've got gas!")

What I'm really saying in all this is welcome to our blog. Please come in and make yourself at home. Kick off your boots and lean back in the best seat by the fire while Roxie lies contentedly at your feet (Roxie is our dog, for those supposing we procreated. Also for all those supposing we have a neighbor named Roxie, thus being made uncomfortable by the former statement.) Actually, we do have a neighbor named Rocksie but as you can see, she spells her name with a cks. I made that part up. Joel is funnier than me. Mitochondria.